I hope this is simply not completely insane, but I have read so many posts concerning the awful ideas about needing to reveal trauma details for your t. I am dealing with the contrary.
I've many 'concerns' that I am aware of from an emotionally/verbally abusive step father to a grownup that I trusted as being a maternal figure that confirmed she had other tips for the relationship in high-school... And what is daily becoming more of the certainty that I've repressed very early neglect (I have always had risks but am not experiencing his and my speech in I want to talk about my trauma my mind which isnot satisfying exchange of words)... I have NEVER told details of ANY of this stuff. I have described to 2 individuals who "something" happened with this particular person that was the extent and I trusted. Photos, short video within my head of the ones I remember and today these voices of what I suppose plague me.
Does this sound right to ANYBODY? I understand I'd be VERY embaressed to express the things I'd need to and that I wish it'snot anything sick building me wish to... But I am worried we are going to spend years since he thinks I am scared tiptoeing round the facts and I am desperately wanting to spill the beans. I wish I can tell him this, however it is not allowed.
I also have found that I can't tell him SOMETHING if he doesn't ask and am working with a t. I have told him this and he's good at wanting to ask me questions. The problem is, I may also not tell him what to ask. I know it might sound completely crazy, but it is much like I'm prohibited to only openly tell things but I am allowed to answer honestly. He's gone backwards and forwards about 'control' trauma then I believe I am so quiet about things going on he doesn't believe they starts to think we have to go another way and are. I get upset after I hear him need to give up hope about actually getting relief and obtain very frustrated and talk about not addressing the injury exclusively. It's like I UNDERSTAND I've to get these facts out-but I can not tell him that. I think he's also worried I can't handle coping with the injury right due to my anxiety attacks, but I donot know how to alter any of this. He talks about injury as you can and attempting to take action with as small depth and that I have read about all these new methods to handle PTSD without detailed processing, but I want it bad.
