Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

everything has seemed so distant and blurry latley i feel like i know no one and no one knows me. i feel so deppressed and down. i only know half the reason. is that my point? to figure out what the other half is and then to just die? i have everything i could possibly want, and look at me. my family hates me, no one talks to me. im a freak. i dont belong in this world. i cant do anything right. i screw up pretty much everything. and if i havnt, most-likley i will. what is it out there thats driving me to full deppression. i dont understand anything anymore and i never will. here it all is right now im just spilling it out. the love of my life is going to Europe for 3 weeks. meaning im gonna sit in my room for 3 weeks and work my a** off for nothing. Vince is going to Kristin's house as i get to go to a movie alone or wander around until i end up passing out, laying there open to anyone to do anything to me or i could sit home and cry and rip my hair out screaming. my parents hate me and call me a freak. im selfish. i complain so much,....and this whole thing is a prime example. im almost hating life again to what it used to be. none of what i explained is anyone's fault its just me being a douche and im and quite sorry if i made anyone upset or mad. but its how i feel. and i had to explain it and i feel no better so now im gonna listen to a sad slow depressing song and wait. wait for the moment i will glow. be a part of something amazing. be what ive always wanted to be. de.....