I suppose I shall put my life story on here... Only friends are allowed to see this.
I don't know.... there are so many things to say, I just don't know how to start. Well.. let's start with just... me.
I'm 15 and my Sophomore year in High School just ended. I have 4 brothers, and me being the oldest. So yea, my mom has 5 kids. And you want to know what? They're all half-brothers. None of them are fully blood-related to me. Every single one of them has a different dad than I do, except for the very last two. Being the only daughter in the family and the only responsible one (my 14-year-old brother is a complete lazy a**), I'm expected to be the most mature, smart, polite, and whatever you might expect in the 'perfect daughter.' I also have the burden of babysitting my brothers, and so, I never get the chance to go anywhere fun. I might, once in a while, but that's because I have an aunt that takes me places.
I've moved around quite alot also... but it's only been 2 states. California and Florida. My mom's family lives in Florida. Well.. my mom's actually adopted, so it's not my real family. My real family lives in Vietnam. But, to me, they are family because they've taken care of me when I was younger and they've taken care of my mom. I've been to 15 different schools in my 11 years of school life. Why? Because my mom gambles. She plays this vietnamese card game that, to me, seems very addicting for adults. She would always go over to friends' houses and play it all night. She would take me and my (14-year-old)brother with her too. It was only the 3 of us until I was 7... But even before that, she had many boyfriends. I don't even remember what those men were like. I just remember many of them smoked and drank alot... maybe that's the cause of my breathing problem.. because my mom always hung around those type of people, most likely while she was pregnant with me.
When I was younger, I was extremely sensitive. Sensitive beyond imagination. Whenever someone would tease me, I'd cry. Whenever someone would yell at me, I cried. Whenever I changed schools, I cried. At so many things, I cried. Sensitive? Very. I used to be very very thin also. No matter how much I ate, I was as thin as a toothpick, as so many people would say. That's not the case any more though. I've grown a lot. But that doesn't matter at the moment.
My first brother... I never knew he wasn't my real brother until I was 10, when my aunt 'hinted' that I had a different dad from my brother. I'd always thought his dad was my dad... and he probably would've remained 'my dad' if my mom didn't gamble so much and he left her.. or she left him for some other reason. I was never informed about it... My second brother... he came when I was 8. He was supposedly 'an accident.' It seems like my mom had gotten drunk and well.. you know. And so she comes home and tells us that she's pregnant with some guy's baby that she hardly knows about. I was young... so I think I remember being exited to have another sibling. I thought it would be a girl.. but it was a boy. I had to live with my aunt during that period of time... and I had already been to 3 schools before that. I cried alot during those 3-4 years after preschool. My brother and I got along pretty well when we were younger too. We'd compete with things too. It was actually kinda fun... but that ended when I started high school.
2 years after my second brother was born, we had moved to Florida about 2-3 times. When we came back to California when I would be starting 5th grade, we had to go live with my mom's friend, who had 3 kids also. My brother and I were very close to them. We were as close as siblings ourselves. I had to get transferred from the school that was actually near us to a school that was further because the school was so packed. After a few months, my mom had met another man.... this time, someone old enough to be my grandfather. Though I didn't know it at the time. He was pretty nice in the beginning, so I liked him. He bought us things and took us places, it was fun. Right until my mom got pregnant again... with my 3rd brother.
We moved to a house near the school I was attending at the time after a few months of living with my mom's friend. I did pretty well in school, I constantly got A's and B's. And then.. we moved... again. That was when we found out that my mom was pregnant. And that was when that man started showing his real self. He was almost like a woman, he was constantly complaining about the way my mom ran things and how she used to work in bars and she was a prostitute and all that crap. There were times when he brought me into the arguments that they had, saying how I would follow my mothers steps and become a slut too. It just... pissed me off so much. I was never much of a talker when I was young.. and that's probably why I had so few friends. I never had a close enough friend who I could just tell everything too...
Before the end of 5th grade, I moved again... to a better school than before and then I got a C in my math.. because I didn't know it. In 6th grade, I was still very shy. I was reserved, and I was always thought of as the 'nerd' in my classes. Though there was always someone 2x's smarter than I was... The elementary school I went to had a 6th grade class so .. I didn't start middle school yet. I moved every year after that. And I mean... every year. I went to 2 schools in middle school. My 8th grade year was fun... because I started getting more outgoing.. why? Because I was holding everything that I really felt, and tried to make myself more noticed. It wasn't like my mom didn't care for me.. she really did... she spoiled me and my brothers.
She spoiled my 14-year-old brother too much though... because now.. he doesn't even bother trying in school anymore. All he does is sleep, play games, restroom, eat... and it's the same cycle over and over again. He says he can't do well because he doesn't like the school and he doesn't have any friends. He's such a liar because I've seen him hang out with people before. I moved to 2 different schools in my freshman year, and thus, they messed up my credits when I transferred... Beginning of my freshman year, I was in Florida for one semester.. moved back to California 2nd semester... and after 3 weeks of school in the same school.. my mom decided to move back to Florida.. so I went to another school for 3 weeks while staying with my grandma before moving... again. And that's where I am now. I also had my 4th brother when I was in 9th grade..
By transferring from the school while I was staying over at my grandma's to where I am now, it resulted in giving me an F for my first semester in Alg II. My mom had said that we might move again... but I've decided.. that I'm staying at the school I'm at. I have so many friends that I don't want to leave.. and I've already decided to join so many things already and I know what I have to do for next year.. if I move again. I won't have a god damn clue. So .. what? She's just gonna want me to fail? I don't think so.
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My 'stepdad' (the father of my last two half-brothers) is a complete a*****e... And what's more, he's a complete and absolute pervert. .... How do I know..? He tried to sexually harass me when I was in middle school... which was when I first started puberty. It was absolutely disgusting... I hated him from that moment on. I avoided being anywhere alone whenever he was around. If my mom wasn't home.. and he was there, I'd lock my room door. And thus, I have resolved to not approve of anyone my mom 'dates' from here on out. I've also resolved on moving out of the house after I start college because.. for one, I can't stand living with my brothers, and two, I wouldn't be able to study with all the noise that would be going around the house.
And I've had about just enough of my dumbass 14-year-old brother calling me a 'slut', 'whore', and various other things that describe as some type of hooker or whatever.. He's a complete dumbass because he doesn't do anything but sit his butt in front of his goddamn computer and orders other people around while he's at it.
Well... that's pretty much all I can think of...
Eternal Skies · Fri May 26, 2006 @ 04:35am · 0 Comments |