What I wish I could say to you...
I loved you so much and I trusted you but then you left me and I still don't understand why... Every day sense you've left I've woken up and it's like I'm dying over and over each time I open my eyes all because I know you don't love me you don't want me and every night I close my eyes and I dream of you before you left me... I dream that you still want me and you still love me. I loved you then because I thought you loved me and would never leave me and I trusted you with all my heart... But when I gave up everything for you and did what I thought you wanted me to do... You completely abandoned me... I still love you and I always will because you are all I want but I can not be with you because I also want you to be happy and I now know how miserable I made you and how horrible it was for you to be with me. Your mother acts like I'm some kind of monster saying that you aren't even allowed to speak to me. Why? I will never know... But what hurts even more is the fact that you don't even care about how she views me. And that is why I can not be with you, because I know you don't love me and you don't care. You are all I want but you don't want me. I do still trust you but not nearly as much as I did. I do still love you though just as much as I did and I always will just as I will always want you but if we were to be together I would live in fear every day wondering when you would leave me again but never knowing why you would... I still don't understand why you left me. I probably never will. I know that I can not let you go so all I ask is that you remain my friend and just let me be a part of your life because I know I could never be your life as you were mine.
