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Smiley's thoughts.
I know most people wouldn't be interested in reading this, so I'm just going to jot down a few of my thoughts here.
Here It Goes Again
Lovely weather we're having, no? You know, with all the storm clouds brewing from the fights that have been going on. Just... Perfect.

My mother came back yesterday to pick up my sister for their weekend together, which she had been putting off for a few weeks now. Honestly, we never kicked her out! Why does she have to plan to visit us kids? Oh, wait. She only plans to visit and reward the mindless sheep children. The fact that my little sister Morgan is able to hide her thoughts serves her well. As well as Rebekah. The two of them should be professional actors some day. Guess that's why they're both excelling in drama.

Well... As I said before, my mom came to visit yesterday. She walked in with an attitude, one that just screams that she was looking for a fight. And who else to pick on then the depressed young adult now taking care of her kids? After having me and a guest-a guest, really?-bring in the stuff from her car such as her new ps3 and two guitars, she walked into her room without so much as a "Hi," "How you doing?" "Thank you for doing the manual labor I'm too f*ckING LAZY to do.".

A few minutes later she tells my sister to get the charger to my dad's laptop. He has repeatedly asked her nicely to not take it, seeing as how he can't use her charger, she broke it and it doesn't fit, and it messes the charger up somehow. Obviously, like the errant teenager she is acting like, she feels the need to ignore him and I. So I say, "No, the charger is staying in here."

Well... Apparently she still feels that I need to bow to her every whim like she still lived here every day. I don't see the woman on a daily-no weekly-basis. Sometimes it's rare to see her within a month! When she heard me say no, she comes barreling out and snatches the cord from the laptop, making the damn thing spark! Really? It took that much violence to remove a cord? I reach and grab the cord, where she stands there threatening me and yanking on it. Mind you I am taller, stronger, and much more... Spirited? than she is. So a normal reaction for me would be to yank back, or at least jerk it away from her and walk away. But no. I stay calm and still. She couldn't move me. Which seemed to upset her just a little bit.

So what does she do? Well she resorts to the ever popular, "Let's just use physical force to get my way," option and RAMS her elbow into my side. Normally, it's an eh factor. But the fact that I had just broken some ribs the other day makes it excruciating. And she stands there and repeats the process a few more times. Who wouldn't be able to hear the bones crunching, feel where my side was caving in?

I piss her off even more because I just stand there without reaction as one of my ribs arches upwards toward a lung. Luckily, she gained a millimeter of sense back, and backs off. Maybe because she realized I wouldn't give in. Oh! Nope. Because it's time for a new tactic. "You're screwing yourself out of so many things right now."

Like what? Not having my birthday celebrated for four years? Like having my mother steal my graduation money? Perhaps it was the ever popular, "I'm going to buy something for you," and sits and lies about it until I realize she was faking it to get my compliance.

Again, this tactic was met with stony silence. Finally, Morgan walks up and looks at me. She knows I'd win, but it's not the best time for me to have a showdown with this woman who I once thought was a kind mother, until I found out that she was only using me so long as I was still sent a government issued check. Lost it last year. Since then she has treated me like dirt. And I'm not the one who noticed it. It was my aunt, uncle, father, grandmother, grandfather, cousin, and even the occasional neighbor. I stood there like an idiot refusing to believe it.

Well, after I give her the cord, which she was threatening to take with her, I go into the kitchen to find some pain relievers. I hear from her bedroom, "You're lucky I don't call the cops!"

Last straw. I snap. Walking calmly back into her room I look her in the eyes. "Please do, mother. I would have so many things to tell them. Along with many others who want to speak to the authorities."

Instead of realizing she screwed up, she starts telling me I'm just faking caring for the kids, all I want is out of the house. Obviously, I do. But I am not faking as she does. I stay because I am the only caretaker these kids have when my dad is at work. I am the one who cooks. I am the one who cleans. I am the one who gave up college this year and military because I was stolen from, betrayed, and nearly killed by this woman repeatedly.

Unfortunately, the only emotion I am now showing is when I write. I've fallen numb, really. This woman has even taken that from me. Welcome to depression 2.0.

And even after all of this, I don't hate her. I want to wake up one day, and see her sitting there. As if this is all a dream.

User Comments: [3]
The Nephilim Rosier
Community Member

Mon Sep 09, 2013 @ 01:51am

Oh honey no...she actually did this all? That's...I can't find any words Jaxi.. It's just too horrible...and those f*cking threats? That's just ridiculous! Just because she's left everyone and is a terrible person doesn't mean you are! heart A mother shouldn't use you and try to destroy you like this woman does sweetie...I know you want her back, but I really hope she just stays out of your life for good now, if this is what she does when she's there... emotion_hug

s m i l e y p a w s
Community Member

Mon Sep 09, 2013 @ 02:05am

Oh, hon, you always know what to say. I was going to edit in what had happened today... But it's just too unbearable lol. I finally snapped, cussed the b*tch out, and told her if she takes one more step in this house I would take care of it. I am going to get my brother's survivors benefits check sent to me instead of her, because it it supposed to be used on his care. Instead it is used for her to go out and party.

She missed my brother's birthday today...

Well... speaking of birthdays, I must get back to one right now. Lol.

Talk to you soon ^ ^

The Nephilim Rosier
Community Member

Mon Sep 09, 2013 @ 02:44am

Aww I'm glad you think so, I usually think I never know what to say ^^; Hopefully she'll stay away now, and yes, definitely have it sent to you not her! I'm sure none of that money has gone towards him! That neglect is just terrible ><You all enjoy today, you deserve it, and I hope it goes well! heart

User Comments: [3]
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