I'm gonna be all emo right now...
I dun like my life, I hate living here at home. All I ever do is get yelled at for everything I do wrong. I'm not perfect! But all my family members think I should be. It's also because I'm asian.. I'm expected to excel in all my classes.. But I don't.. I can't..
I have an older cousin, she's apparently my "guardian" she basically gave herself the title. She does nothing but boss me around and yelling at me for everything. She's all "Oh look I lost her car keys! Let's blame my little cousin! And make her look for them." I hate her so ******** much. She's psychotic, seems like to me she has a split personality. I'll ask her if I'll allowed to invite a friend over or something and she says sure. But then later when they leave, she'll yell at me and start badmouthing my friends right infront of my face. It happens everytime.. I try talking back, but then she blames my friends for my "attitude problem" and then grounds me. My parents do nothing about it. What else am I suppose to do? She and my parents both call me stupid and retarded, great confidence boost there. She thinks she's so intelligent, but she's not. Everywhere we go she has to call someone stupid. Like this time we were at a grocery store and this girl just started working there, apparently my cousin didn't notice that, and the girl was asking the manager some questions and my cousin got impatient and yelled at the girl saying how stupid she is. I found that incredibly rude, I wanted to slap my cousin across the face. She's so ******** lazy too, she's standing right beside the cabinet where we keep the glasses and I'm a room away, she yells at me to get her a glass when it's right beside her! GAWD! Why can't she just ******** move out!!! Today, while she was yelling at me, I asked her: "Is everything I do wrong?" And she said yes, everything I do is wrong and I'm a pathetic piece of good for nothing s**t. Well, that made me feel great. She needs to get laid my a horse! I hope her pelvic bone gets crushed! ... I could go on about my cousin forever... SHE MAKES MY LIFE A LIVING HELL! scream
Okay, my marks at school are nothing to be proud of. I just can't bring myself to do any homework because of all the s**t happening at home, I can't do anything because I'm always getting yelled at and other stuff... My parents are always: "You have to get straight A's!" when I can barely get a C+ "You're so stupid!". My little brother is perfect because he can manage A's all the way down his report card. And that's what my cousin's and parents' excuse for not being so hard on him. He can scream and throw tantrums and everyone lets him. If I even talk back or give a "funny look" I get threatened, "You can't see your friends anymore! No more going to your boyfriends house! We'll transfer you to a different school so you can't see your friends anymore!" ...like that.
I've talked to councilors at school about these problem, but not much can be done about it. I dunno if I can deal with this s**t for another year.. I have so many problems because of this, I'm a total wreck. I want to go see someone about this but if I do.. My parents and everyone will get mad. I feel so pathetic, I can't even stand up for myself.
My friends are all I have for comfort. No one at homes really gives a damn about my feelings, I'm not allowed to cry or else I get told I'm embarassing. My friends are my family. I can't wait til I move out. I'll be happy then. 3nodding
Oi, sorreh about all this rambling.. >>; I'm sure other people have it way worst than me. Yeah... Once again sorreh about this big long rant. ><;
View User's Journal
Siatea's Nonsense :3
Uhhh..-shrugs-
 |
Siatea-Chan
Community Member |
