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I'm bored so I think I'll just make another journal entry; don't like it than suck it! Who the hell am I talking to? I do not know since no one would be reading this, but I'm going to pretend like this isn't all in vain. Although journals are suppose to be private or is that a diary that's private? I don't know the difference.

Anywho, who gives a flying ********? Certainly not me or the voices in my head that are tell me that he doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. And for some strange reason I feel the urge to keep his name confidential as if someone is actually going to read this. Well, whether someone does or doesn't I'm going to rant about my... friend, Guillermo! I need to get things off my chest and I mean really let it all out. Nobody interrupting me saying 'oh, honey he's not worth it' or 'you brought this upon yourself' crap! I have been seeing the guy for almost a year, by 'seeing' I mean having sex and playing video games with. We were friends before this and now it seems that I have feelings for him, typical girly s**t, right? I'm sorry, but it turns out that a masochist like me is completely loyal to the person who can give her a good choke.... *Cough Cough*

How he feels I'm not completely sure and, of course, when I ask about it he just tells me he doesn’t know then I get mad and we go through this all the freaking time. I don't know what to do. I want to be with him and not have to worry that he's looking for something better even if for a little while. Maybe I'm just too greedy. I'm not in love with him, but sometimes I get to think that maybe a relationship would be nice. Then I don't want anything to do with him and I just want to have meaningless sex with whomever. I think I'll just have to be his booty call for now, except he's been 'out of it' for a while which means he gets to leave King high and wet for yet another week after getting off three times and denying me my orgasm just three weeks ago. Guess all I can do is wait!