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Can I play with madness?
Enough
I hope you ******** miss me.

I hope you cry yourself to sleep at night the way I did.

I hope half the songs you listen to remind you of me, too,

and you're close to tears by the time you stop listening to those songs.

I hope you, too, regret we didn't marry.

I hope you're drinking more.

I hope you hurt yourself.

Why?

Because I did.

And I hope you constantly have to chase me from your mind.

I hope there's a piece of me in ever single second of every single day for you,

Just as there is for me.

I hope you're trying your danmdest to get over me,

But can never seem to get quite happy enough, forgetful enough, sober or smashed enough to ever,

For even ten minutes,

forget that I'm out there somewhere;

And that I needed you so bad,

And loved you so much,

And put so ******** much of myself into what we had.

I hope the guilt of what you did to me is eating you alive.

I hope you can't even sleep at night.

I hope you remember how we would sleep at night,

Your belly pressed into the small of my back and your hands at my bare breast,

And how I made dinner nearly every night

And how I had prepared your clothes and shoes when you had to work third shift,

And how we sang in the car,

And how we cuddled on the couch.

I hope it ******** haunts you, that day I hoped to die because you no longer wanted me.

I hope it eats you alive that you were my everything,

That you still are,

That I swear you're my soul mate,

but you ended it AGAIN,

And now I can't even utter your name, let alone see it written anywhere without having the knee-jerk reaction to destroy it.

I hope it kills you that I am forced to cut you out of my life forever,

Just to be able to even think of moving on.

Oh, I hope you're losing sleep over how perfect we were,

And how that perfection came to a close when you left me after I lapsed into madness.

I hope you forever remember how your whole family despised me me.

I hope you're seeing now just what you're missing out on.

I hope you look back on when we used to send each other private messages all the time, just to say hi, to say we missed each other, just to check in.

I hope I am forever, always, for eternity; that girl who completely stole your heart,

That girl who was the perfect one, your only one, and you lost her because you couldn't even attempt to truly help her, get her in to see someone, just hold her for awhile when she wept and bled,

Because you just shattered her way too many times.

And you know what else?..

I still love you, but I now curse your name.





 
 
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