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I haven't lost any weight yet, (I went from 130-140 during the holidays and that bummed me out)

I haven't stopped smoking yet. (I did for two weeks in November by some magical happenstance, and then the moment I touch a (few) beer I'm smoking again. u___u

I'm starting to think about how weak I am as a person.
I used to believe I was tough
but, I don't know anymore.

I've still got both my jobs though~
One part time and one casual = Almost full time hours.

Although the hours are screwy. I'll work a 12 hour day every sunday, and then work 5-6 hours for the next 5 days. =P

So technically I can still brag about my 12 hour day and pretend I'm a hard worker, and the world believes me, but I don't feel like I'm doing enough and it's also bumming me out.

I'd like to know exactly what's wrong with me in a way,
but on the other hand knowing me I'd find out what was wrong with me and complain about it forever.

I think it's just safer to think that I'm a chick with quirks.
I refuse to go on any personality-changing medications

So if I did find out, I'd just torture myself more for the rest of forever.

I'm just glad I've got friends (either on the internet or irl) that are willing to listen to my s**t.

Well, that's not true.

Not a lot of people wanna hear me complain.

Actually, nobody does.

I have to learn how to toughen up by myself. It's just difficult. u___u

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