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I hate wanting what I can't have. And it's clear now....that I'll have to fight a war that I'll bring upon myself...I'm sorry...I hope you understand...he was the only thing that made me happy when you left. I need him. And I need help...I hope there's a guardian angel out there listening.........

I know what you felt now....that torn feeling...and it wasn't till tonight that I understood what you ment when you told me I'll understand my vises one day....and I'm sorry I didn't notice it earlier. I'll never pass up my memory of you...ever. But I'm finally feeling at peace. I can't speak with actions, and I can't make you come back to talk, but there is one thing I can do....and that's promise you I'm finally happy......

I'd start over with you. Not even as a friend yet...acquaintance more like...and work up to a friend.....

And understand that last sentence is something I know that will never happen...it is just a sweet dream to let you know my feelings so you won't worry anymore....

Thank you for making me a better person...thank you for having open arms...and thank you for sharing your heart with me....