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I cant stop righting, stress brings this out in me. Last night he told me not to worrie, that he would always chose me, but if I lose him….. and I cant explain why the thought of letting someone who I only net a few weeks ago out of my life hurts so much because I my self don’t even know. And there is no real reason behind this aside from getting the words out of my head. I love him, funny how love works. One day I didn’t even know he existed, the next I cant imagine life with out him. Its so hard to describe, its like the sound of his voice makes my day and I ach to be with him. Im lost because I don’t want him to brake up with her if he doesn’t want to but I so badly want him. I miss someone I have never met and all I can think about is to feel his phantom touch in reality.
I have to face the likely hood that he will chose her, that he will not be able to let her go, and im trying. I just am trying to figure out why losing a guy im not even dating and haven’t met in person nor have I been talking to for long (though it kind of feels like forever) brings tears to my eyes. That’s so unlike me! I just want to scream! I don’t know what to do, he hasn’t texted me back and a part of me knows its because he is talking to her, and a part of me worries tat she will convince him to stay. What will I do? Ill pretend to be ok, ill be his friend and smile, but inside Ill scream! I have to start preparing my self for that.




"Head Over Feet"
I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
This is actually a song by Alanis Morissette that sums up how I feel for him