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I The Monster

I think of things that make my heart choke
Yet I seem to enjoy their presence
Sick twisted deviant fantasies provoke
Repulsive yet somehow enticing
I'm a monster that doesn't deserve the air I breathe
I'm a beast that is better off dead
From mental wounds my true colors seep
Terrorizing the stability of sanity

I'm a fool to think I deserve more
I deserve to live the reset of my days before a mirror
To peer into the eyes of the one I fear most
The thought of myself brings me the most horror

In a prison of my own reflection is my rightful place
I don't deserve the wind that I taste
I am unworthy of tears though still they reach my face
I am undoubtedly my greatest mistake
I made myself this, and I can't take it back
I've created an enemy I can no longer attack
Plagued by the options that I lack
I feel my brain swell and my skull begin to crack

(Chorus)

I am already dead so killing myself does nothing
I am likable on the surface so murder is unlikely
I do not know if I'm capable of fulfilling such irrationality
I do know that the possibility of such is slowly killing me