I've come to a point in my life that I've realized this and that and whatnot and I find myself comfortable where I am, regardless of my failures. It's through my failures that I've developed myself into who I am now. Let me start over as to the point of this little ditty, I've realized that I'm not that comfortable in the skin I'm in. I want to be able to portray myself in an honest fashion to others without judgement, but that is an impossibility in itself because it is human nature to judge others to an extent, depending on the party. But what I'm saying is I want acceptance in who I know I can become, but I'm not sure I can even put that person out there cause I haven't been that person in a long time and I don't know how to be her anymore.
It's hard to be able to put all this publicly for everyone to read and think about. I'm not as nice as I put myself to others and there is a level of bitterness, but there is a gentleness to it. Call it an educated will of pleasure and bliss that has been tampered with the day to day droll. There is the fool in me that is quite intelligent, but still a fool. My heart is very cold to lovers, but warm as bright sunny day to those I call friends and family. Maybe that's why I don't have someone to call my own. I don't want to speculate too much on it, but a bit of self observance has put me to believe that I put the fool is always a friend, never an intelligent lover, to those around me. But with the New Year, I wish to keep a vow to myself to be more honest with myself in life and in love.
But what I said earlier, I am comfortable with where I am and where I stand, its who I am that requires that bit of fine tuning.
 bijouxdemon · Mon Jan 10, 2011 @ 07:39pm · 0 Comments |
