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This pain I feel and think about daily brings tears to my eyes...

What is this pain? I feel it everyday in my heart, I think about it everyday...My loneliness...

What is the opposite of loneliness? Happiness? companionship? I think it is love...

I have loved before...at least I think...His name was tyler...He was the only guy that actually made a effort to break threw my hard shell...

The only guy that I thought I could trust...After my parents divorce I felt empty...They were the only people I could trust and they hurt me...over and over again...

I let tyler in thinking I could trust him...He was different...Because he actually tried....tired to get to know me...tried to gain my trust...tried to make me feel better...he tired to make me happy....

He did...and I fell in love with him...

But love is a fragile thing...a powerful thing...

But sometimes love isn't enough..

He showed up at my doorsteps and said it was over...

He found someone else...

Some slut named Jamie...

He gave up everything! everything we had....He broke my trust and my heart! He let me alone with no one and I once again was left alone...all alone...

Funny how things work...she ended up leaving him for her ex 2 weeks later...

He came back to me...Said he was sorry and wanted to be with me again...

He said it was the biggest mistake he ever made...

I may be blonde but I'm not stupid...I told him it was over...

The pain he caused me...The cut he left on my heart...It was still throbing...still bleeding...

He now he's with someone new... and I see them together...happy...everyday...

I am once again alone and he knows it too...

He knows the pain he has put me threw and everyday...seeing him with her...

I...I can breath, I loss my footing and I...I loss it...

I have to be alone away from everyone...I need a moment...

I moment to learn to breathe again...How to walk...how to be sane again before I contince with my life...

I always wonder...does he really know...The pain he cause me?

Does he know how much it kills me to see him happy and me be so upset...

I'm not jealous...not really... The only thing I am jealous about is...How fast he forgot me...how fast he moved on...how he acts like it never happened...I could never do that...

No matter how much I hated him, no matter how much I loved him...I can't forget...

I'm not like the jealous ex or anything...I still talk to him...maybe once a month sometimes...I talk to his girlfriend often...she is a real sweetheart...I glad he is happy...

Thats all I really want really... Is for him to be happy...

Though Its painful for me...I glad he is happy...

Cause I still love him...And thats all I want...Is for him to be happy...

But never think that it will never end...

Cause sometimes...Love just isn't enough...