I feel as if I have an impending fate. This fate leads me down a dark path in which loneliness bides its time prodding at my heart ever so softly so i feel the pangs of lonlieness that follow. It is an unsettling feeling but it is something I have to live with, for I can honestly say I feel it is fate for me to be lonely. Now let's get this striaght, I am not Emo and can not find one thing about emo kids that I like, they are just crybabys with knives cutting themselves for no reason. Isn't it possible to think of things this way and still not be considered Emo? Isn't it okay for a normal person with a soul to feel things like this? Anyways, I feel as if all my life I have been shunned by a society that can't stand to look at me. Only a few people are not judjmental of me because these people got the time to know me, my friends are the only true fighters against my loneliness, for this I truly thank them. But what will happen after college? What if I go seperate ways form my friends and never see them tat much, it is almost to much to bear thinking about. Sometimes I think that maybe if my soul were to interact with anothers in a bond, I'm talking dating here, maybe some of that lonleiness will go away but I am too much of a loser, to much as seen as garbage by today's society that women tend to veer away from me without getting to know what kind of person I am. I have liked few, in all my life but my cowardice stopped me from telling my true feelings to these people so maybe I am at fault there, I guess I should be like some of my friends and say how I feel but the lonliness prods at me briniging down my levels of courage telling me "you are going to Fail" or "Rejection is the only thing that will happen if you speak your feelings aloud" and so I just let life go by not doing much of anything. Maybe it is just a phase that I am going through, but no one in this world wants to be lonely. Now I leave, bearing a little of my soul to you...
Daimonian · Mon Mar 06, 2006 @ 11:11pm · 4 Comments |