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By C. Zollinger (AKA Davy Havoc)

Lenny ambled toward Windy Vale enjoying every bit of the afternoon.
Shadows danced with sunlight over the cobblestone street and ancient pines towered above the roadside, their needles singing in the breeze. It was such a wonderful day; the last thing Lenny expected to see was a cloud of smoke mushrooming above the treetops. But that very cloud – black and ugly – hovered farther down the road. Either someone was having one heck of a barbecue. . . Or trouble was brewing. By Lenny’s guess, it was probably both. Thus, the otherwise perfect peaceful day was put to an end.
He quickened his pace as the road wound around a thicket of pines and opened into a small clearing. Except it wasn’t the normal, natural kind of clearing, but a large whack of forest burned into a perfect smoldering circle. The cobbled road just happened to cut right through it. And lying among the crispy ashes were three bodies smoking on the road. Groaning and coughing too.
They were typical thieves, judging from their patched armor and greasy complexions. Liars, rapscallions, and a generally unsavory (and unbathed) lot.
“I say!” Lenny looked down on what appeared to be the thieves’ leader. “What happened to you?”
“Cough! . . . sorceress . . .” whined the thief. “The accursed Alia Ekko. . . she brutally attacked us with her fire magic!”
“You don’t say . . .” Lenny ‘Hm’ed and ‘Ha’ed gazing farther down the road. It was more likely the thieves attempted to mug the sorceress. And got their butts toasted for it.
“Alia Ekko was her name, did you say?” Lenny looked down at the thief. “Which way did this fienddess go?”
“To Windy Vale . . .” the thief pointed weakly down the road.
“Thank you very much.” Lenny stepped over the thief.
“Hey. . . -Sob!- Aren’t you going to help us?” the thief called after him.
“You’re burns are mild. You’ll get over it. B’Bye!” Lenny waved without looking back. He smiled to himself. “The Sorceress Alia Ekko. . . Finally, I’ve found you!”
Night had fallen deep and dark by the time Lenny arrived at the Town of Windy Vale. It was a large and prosperous community that covered the bottom of a valley called Windy Vale – hence the town’s name. Way at the back of the valley a lone mountain (by the name of Gally Peak) rose like a white-coated arrow tip. It would have made wonderful scenery, if it hadn’t been dark.
Lenny strolled the empty lantern-lit streets, humming a little tune to keep himself company. At first glance, he looked like a priest, dressed in white robes and a flowing mantle. But his light and cheerful demeanor betrayed something more than a glance at his holy garb would tell.
He didn’t have to wander the streets all night to see most of the inns were closed. So, when Lenny came upon a pub still lit and servicing among the darkened buildings, he decided to ask for directions.
Lenny was about to reach for the door when a clamor broke out inside. He stopped, listening to the loud bangs and angry cries from within the walls.
“Now get out!”
Before Lenny could react, the door burst open and a somebody was flung out. Right on top of him. He and the body fell over backwards, crashing into a heap on the ground.
That somebody was a woman. Pushing herself up, she shook a fist at the door.
“Bass turds!”(did you edit that, or did she really just call them Large Mouth Bass crap? or is it like this because she's slurring her words because she's drunk?) The woman wore a wrinkled jade mantle and a set of shoulder guards adorn by cracked talismans – a magician’s attire, if a little shabby. But her long fawn hair and eyes the color of twilight were unmistakable-
Lenny sat up. “Alia Ekko?!”
“Waddid y’say?” The woman squinted back at him; she was drunk.
“You are Alia Ekko?” Lenny asked. “Aren’t you?”
“Ow dare hyu!” she shouted. “Like ‘ell I ham! Oy the grait sorsiress Ren!”
Lenny raised an eyebrow, wondering if that was English coming out of her mouth.
“Hyu’ve hearred o’meh, no dowt?” She favored him with a smug grin.
“Uh-kay. . .” Coming to his feet, Lenny dusted off. “Well, Miss, I think you’d better be getting home. It’s rather late if you haven’t noticed.” He bent down, grabbed the sorceress by the underarm, and pulled the woman to her feet.
“Waz duh bag idee, bub! Git yur ands oaf meh!” She slapped him – hard. The sorceress took one bold step and began leaning dangerously sideways. Lenny caught her sleeve, pulling her back to vertical.
“Let me walk you, home.” Lenny took her arm with one hand while the other rubbed his smarting face. It wasn’t right to leave a woman alone on a dark and empty street, especially in this state. Even if she was somewhat. . . violent.
“S’ank hyu. Hyu railly nise.” She pointed at him. “Ain’t mony dentlemen aroond theeze daize.”
“Right. . .” Lenny nodded. He guided the sorceress down the road, fighting to keep both their balances as she sauntered this way and that. When they passed a watering trough she stopped him.
“Ooo . . . Oy kneed a derink.” The sorceress staggered over, pulling Lenny with her, and dunked her head into trough. Water splashed everywhere.
Pulling away, Lenny shook the water off his hands before wiping off his face and robe with a handkerchief. He eyed the sorceress as bubbles started rising out of the barrel. Finally, Lenny grabbed her collar and pulled her up. She was out like a light.
“Geeze, what a time to pass out.” Lenny shook his head and slung the wasted sorceress over his shoulder. He moseyed down the road en-route for nearest inn . . . Wherever that might be.