did it ever cross your mind that maybe i cared for you as more then just a friend. that maybe i was here to help you, you acted as if no one was there for you, as if you were alone. you acted as if you were put here to hurt .
and once that got stuck in your head you did everything that was possible to end your life, but everything you thought wasn't true, everything in your head everything was wrong. im sorry no one had tried to help you before but i was here, you just didn't take the time to look.
im not blaming you im not that's the last thing i would do to you, but do you know what i saw when i was by you, you always tested everything you always saw everyone as they were and you never judged, you were the last person to ever do that, but you didn't see it that way. you wouldn't let anyone in. you blocked everyone out, you held your emotions in, and that was what killed you.
even though i was able to crack that shell and was able to get in and talk to you . i never told you what i really felt for you .and that makes me think. what if i had told you something, and what would you have said.would you still be alive if i had said something. would you not have committed suicide and seen something was worth living.
idk dude im just confused, depressed, pissed and hurt to know that you killed yourself. and now a days all i can think is what if i kill myself will i see you when im gone, you know you were my reason to be here, the reason i awoke everyday.
but now your gone and i cant do anything about it. and now all i want to do is die.
I hate what you did. I hate you for what you did. I hate myself for hating you. I hate myself for not stopping you. I hate the heavens for taking you. I hate the world without you. I hate..life..
toptobottomloser Community Member 
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