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i'm not sure if you can have a person as a drug. I used to know this guy when i was younger, much younger. and i don't see him hardly any more cuz he goes to a different school. We used to have a lot of fun together, none of that sexual fun, but just hanging out together, that kind of fun. talking and laughing with eachother. We both loved eachother, not like friends, we knew that, but we never actually said that word to eachother. He's told me that he loves me before, but i didn't hear what he said the first time he said it. that was the only time he said it, i asked him what it was that he said, and he said nevermind, he didn't want to say it again, but i heard him. he didn't know i heard him, but yah, i did. well, i'm just trying to get over him because i would rather spend time with him than my own family. this one time last year, i got a call from my mom on my cell phone and she said that my sister got a ruptured hernia. i was afterschool with him and we were about to decorate his sisters locker cuz it was gonna be her birthday, he didn't know why i was arguing with my mom, i was telling her that she could pick me up later after we were done. but then my mom said that she was coming to pick me up. that's when i realized i really didn't want to leave him. later on in school life, i skipped classes with him and it was fun. i later got caught and was sent to i.s.s., he got sent to court for all of the skipping that he did and my mom forbade me to ever talk to him ever again. so when i wasn't with him, i guess i was slowly recovering from all of the 'bad' things that i did. i loved to be with him, so the first couple of days that i was away from him, i was going in shock like a person withought his daily shot of heroin. he now goes to pace because he has a lot of credit recovery. i saw him two days ago and all of that came back to me. i was on my way to him about to say hi, but i stopped myself and turned around. that was really hard for me, but i did it. i'm slowly recovering, but whenever i see him, be it in a car on the road or in a store across the building everything comes back to me. i can never forget him, i don't want to forget him, but i do. is it really better to love and lost than to never have loved at all? all of the pain comes back and i don't like it, i try to avoid it, but maybe that's not the right thing to do.