and there are just so many that don't make any sense in my world right now and i wish i could make everything feel right again i wish i could make him happy like i used to but i guess i'm not the same i guess i'm not who he fell in love with and then i think well maby it's cuz i'm not a man and that's why he's not happy but he says that he doesn't miss being gay but i've seen the way he looks at men the longing in his eyes and i don't think i'm good enough anymore and i wish i could be everything he needs but honestly i don't think i ever will be what he's looking for and i don't know why he loves me i'm the ******** up maby he just wants to fix me? i don't know
but i do know that everytime i look at him i see him with another and it makes me want to cry i don't know what i would do if he left me and i know that sounds stupid and clingy and needy but it's the truth.
and everytime he's gone i miss him and he says he misses me to but when he went to mexico he says he fell inlove with another girl she is a cosplay chick and they kissed when he was there and i didn't find out for months after he got back why he was so emo and resently he got back from china and he's acting the same way and he says that nothing happened but i'm not sure if i should believe him.
and i feel so stupid and scared annd i'm mad at myself for feeling this way.
at least with women you know when there is something going on i miss how much i understood women.
but i do know that everytime i look at him i see him with another and it makes me want to cry i don't know what i would do if he left me and i know that sounds stupid and clingy and needy but it's the truth.
and everytime he's gone i miss him and he says he misses me to but when he went to mexico he says he fell inlove with another girl she is a cosplay chick and they kissed when he was there and i didn't find out for months after he got back why he was so emo and resently he got back from china and he's acting the same way and he says that nothing happened but i'm not sure if i should believe him.
and i feel so stupid and scared annd i'm mad at myself for feeling this way.
at least with women you know when there is something going on i miss how much i understood women.
i miss you jae i love you forever i wish you were here
