And I thought my life was s**t last week.
Some of that s**t may have gotten better but damn man.
Uhghghuhghshjfhdlsjha.
I'm just so ******** weak right now. My heart cant hold this ******** s**t. I sound alot like a stupid annoying ******** teenager right now
I thought I was getting over something, but apparently I'm not.
I just hate that I'm like this. Everything was getting so much better today regardless of the dreams I had last night.
I was finally happy and forgetting about it (i'm going to call hi- i dont even want to type the m.. going to call it "it") for at least 5 minutes of my life. Then my brother told me to go and eat Chinese food and I thought it was going to be a much better day 'cause I love Chinese food. I'm almost done eating and my mom tells me my dog ran away. She tells me that it happened last night when she was opening the gate. That was 20 ******** hours ago.
...
My friend just called me and my ringtone doesn't make me feel any better. ]:
Listening to songs by TDF made makes me feel a lot better.
Anyways, since I'm not doing anything important today I was thinking about going to look around for my doggy since my mom kept saying things like "he always comes back an hour later" " what if someone finds him and keeps him" "He's probably being fed and will stay with the person who found him" "I'm going to miss him a lot if he doesn't come back"
I didn't see her doing anything about it so I was thinking about looking around and then I remembered "it" lives in my community. I saw "it" two years ago and I'm not sure "it" lives here anymore but still... damn.
What if I ran into "it"? I doubt it though. -sigh-
I wanna go outside and run search for my dog but I just cant.
It's his ******** fault. "He's" to blame for what I ******** feel. Typing some of this s**t out helps though.
Things always get back to blah once I type my feelings out.
There's more to it but I need to tell someone, not just type to no one.
Edit: So, I did go out to look for my dog. I kinda dressed up just to look for him. I was looking for my dog but I was also remembering many things that happened when I was little and used to play in the streets and the park. You could say I got very distracted. I didn't even know what I was looking for. I know lots of people that live in my community, though I dont talk to them anymore (young,my age,or old). While I was walking down this street I made my little brother go to (hecamealongtosearch) on purpose [waslookingfor...] I was at the end and then I realized that today was homecoming and that everyone was probably there. I felt so stupid. I started smiling and it felt nice to know I am very stupid for not remembering such thing. I seriously had no idea what I was searching for at the beginning. I did try to look for my dog after that but other memories were flooding through my head from my childhood.
There's more to it. If I actually told you everything you'd understand.
I underlined and did other s**t to this entry just to make it stand out. It look so unappealing without the edits.
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