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My Life Currently.....

Things keep crumbling...
My heart is burning...
Is the world comming to an end? Or is everyone just becoming blind?
I was once a young innocent child, then I grew up.

Where was my Never never land? My Peter Pan...
He was to late...
To late to save me from the heart ache that was about to be brought on.

As I'm sitting here writting this, I can't help but think what my life would have been if he'd have just responded to my simple letter.
It's been almost 5 months now... and still not a word.
He just keeps walking by me like I'm nobody.
I know he still cares, and there's a part of me that cares about him too.

I can't think that way now...
I have a boyfriend that I love very much, but...
Did I move on to fast?
Did I give my heart a chance to mend?

I'm torn now... between the one who loves me and annonces it, and the one who likes me and keeps it to himself.
I'd be alot better if he'd just have talked to me.
I'm begining to wonder if my heart will ever fully mend...

Some times it's easy, and others, it's hard...
For certain memories I will never want to think of them...
The mall in Modesto, "The Dark Night" movie in Angels Camp... the list goes on for a long time...
Now I think my decision was right, it's my true destiny...
But how come I feel like at times I have it all wrong?

Why did I choose Nick instead of Ethan?
Why did Ethan have to stop talking to me because Nick was his best friend?
Why was Nick a jerk to me on Halloween?
Why did I cheat on him with his other friend DJ?
Why did I choose my current boyfriend Josh?
Why do I keep having dreams about Ethan when I think I'm over him?

Only God knows these things...
I hope he will guide me to the right path!
I know I'll be fine...
If I could just lock my old memories up forever, then I wouldn't feel a thing!! crying