A week, is an astoundingly short space of time and yet I am continuously amazed at how much can occur in a mere 172 hours...
Monday. The Fourth Choir held its fourth tactical meeting. What occurred, shall not be discussed in this forum for it is too dangerous but... there are strange things afoot. I do not know what to think.
Wednesday. Had my first taste of apple pie. It is... strange, in a way. Again, I'm not sure what to make of it. It certainly wasn't unpleasant but neither was it as wonderful as the eldest Winchester would make it appear.... I shall have to retrial it.
Thursday. Helped a lost young girl find her way.
Yesterday... yesterday yet another brother fell in battle....It was unexpected and thankfully quick. He did not suffer. He is with my Father now...in the light and glory that is Home and yet...I am not certain how I feel on the matter. I can still see it, the way he fell. The look upon his vessel's face, the flash of light as he was flung homeward. I can still hear him-- voice high with surprise and fleeting pain... I buried him, afterwards. I held his vessel's body, limp, cold, fragile in my arms and I used my bare hands to dig his grave...How do I feel? Do I feel? There is something there certainly, but I am unsure as to whether I should pursue the sensation. Emotion is not allowed. Emotion is human and leads to doubt-- to fear-- to anger-- to The Fall.
One thing is for certain-- if I fear, it is because I fear The Fall. I could scarcely imagine existing away from my Father for more than a month yet alone a lifetime and it is difficult enough residing on earth, with the humans, in the dank, dark, in places where my Father's light scarcely touches...
I must go before these thoughts lead me to paths better left undisturbed. I shall go seek revelation.
Castiel agent of God · Tue Jun 02, 2009 @ 12:03pm · 0 Comments |