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Brendon Urie
Ummm. Brendon Urie wears Rainbow Brite underwear. True story.
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On the day Brendon Urie was born, eleven people on the same floor of the hospital were suddenly cured of incurable diseases and ailments. One woman, who'd been blind since childhood, could suddenly see again.
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All the kinetic energy in the world, does in fact, originate from Brendon Urie.
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When Brendon Urie was seven, one of his friends fell into a well. Brendon sang and lifted him out of the well with only the power of his voice.
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There is no such thing as global warming. Brendon Urie was sick of being rained on, so he turned up the sun.
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Brendon Urie's tears turn anything they touch into gold.
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The choirs of angels do, in fact, get their inspiration from Brendon Urie's voice.
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When Brendon Urie makes the peace sign, all men's hearts are flooded with goodwill for exactly three seconds.
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When Brendon Urie falls into water, he doesn't get wet. Water gets Brendon Urie'd.
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Brendon Urie has to warn cities before he arrives, because the sheer power of his awesomeness draws people to him magnetically, even through brick walls. His radius of awesomeness has a radius of three miles.
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When Brendon Urie was five, he accidentally turned his puppy dog eyes on an unsuspecting neighbour. She was hospitalised for three weeks, because he was just so cute.
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Brendon Urie can turn water into hair product, just by waving his hand over it.
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Brendon Urie has a tragic addiction to Pixie Stix. They have been confiscated from him at many points, but he always seems to get more.
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One time they switched the regular coffee for decaf, just to see what it would do to Brendon. After, like, a day and a half, Jon switched it back. He missed the regular, caffeinated Brendon too much.

(Ryan Ross recalls that day and a half fondly. He still writes nostalgic, wistful songs about The Time Brendon Sat Still For, Like, An Hour.)
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Every time Panic's tour bus stops and it's raining, Brendon Urie insists on going outside and looking for frogs. He's convinced one day he'll find one that can dance!
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Brendon Urie once stopped a hungry bear from charging, just by pouting at it.
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Brendon Urie stole Ryan Ross' make-up bag once, and he tried everything on just because it had been on Ryan's skin before.
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Ryan Ross

Ryan Ross learned to make soup from an ancient tattooed witch-chef who lives in a hut in the middle of the Nevada desert. She offered to sell him her recipe for oatmeal cookies for a song. He gave her a whole album, so she had to give him her entire recipe box in exchange.

It's really good soup.
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Ryan Ross has an irrational fear of those spontaneous soap bubbles that appear in the air from the plastic squirt bottle of dish soap. He believes that if they land on him, they steal his soul.

Brendon Urie found this out four days into their first tour together. Spencer had to intervene and consequently, every dish on the Panic! tour bus is disposable.
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Ryan Ross can actually walk on water, but only if it's less than one foot deep.
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Ryan Ross can guess the end to any book, movie, television show, or video game that you put in front of him. He can also finish your sentences, even if he's just met you.

This has caused him to be punched in the face no less than eleven times.
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The reason Ryan Ross has no facial expressions or voice inflection is because he gave them all to Spencer when they were kids. He just wanted to hear Spencer talk more and see Spencer smile more.
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Ryan wanted to grow his hair long enough to donate it to Locks of Love, but he couldn't stand the fact that once it grew past his shoulders, he started looking like Rachel Bilson.
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Ryan Ross actually lives 550 years in the future. The Ryan Ross we know in our time is an ingeniously lifelike android he created and then sent back in time as a social experiment. The only drawback is the hologram can only speak in a monotone, because the mellifluous tones of his voice cannot be captured by any technology.
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Spencer Smith

If Spencer Smith is in a swimming pool for longer than half an hour, all of the water in it turns into strawberry-watermelon flavored Jello.
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Spencer actually wears specially made contacts to contain the brilliance of his eyes. One time he forgot to put them in and Jon was blind for a week.
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Spencer Smith killed the dinosaurs. The first time he smiled, it released such a high concentration of energy and light into the world that there was a rift in the time-space continuum and, 64 million years ago, all major life forms felt such a powerful surge of pure joy that they fell over dead.

At least they died happy.
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When Spencer Smith is sad, every cactus in Nevada blooms roses instead of thorns, just to cheer him up.
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The one time someone punched Spencer Smith, they were immediately struck down by lightening.
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In other news, Spencer Smith can purify water just by looking at it sternly. (You know, that's interesting, because he tried that trick on Gabe at the VMAs, and Travis's hair caught fire.)
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The only time Spencer Smith sings is when Jon Walker can't sleep.
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Sometimes, when Spencer Smith is watching TV and a shampoo commercial comes on, the model/actress on the TV will cry and run offscreen. She knows she can't compete.
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When Panic! at the Disco is on the road for Halloween, Spencer Smith makes sure that all of the busses and dressing rooms have candy in them. So that Brendon can go Trick or Treating.
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Spencer Smith sneezes glitter. True story!
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When Spencer Smith smiles at you, you actually become more awesome. This explains JON WALKER.
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When Spencer Smith laughs it rains Skittles.
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This one time, Spencer Smith was in a bad mood and glared at everything nearby him.

This is why Swiss cheese has holes in it.
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And his bitchface is registered as a deadly weapon in 32 states.
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Jon Walker

Jon Walker's smile is actually the cure for the common cold.
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Jon Walker knows every spot on Spencer Smith that is ticklish. Ryan Ross thinks he knows every spot, but he's missing one, and like hell Jon Walker's sharing.
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Jon Walker started playing bass because it has the word a** in it. True story.
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Jon Walker actually joined Panic! At The Disco because he has a very rare and life-threatening disease that can only be controlled by a semi-constant exposure to ridiculous clothing choices, camaraderie, and Spencer Smith's Hips.
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When Jon Walker "dances", Justin Timberlake's left eye twitches for an hour.
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Jon Walker never relaxes. The world just slows down for Jon Walker.
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So, next time someone disses Panic, kick their a**, then send them this.