how many years until I can drive up 42nd and not feel ashamed?
When will I not be afraid of Pita Pit anymore?
I feel like i have to stay out of Vitamin Shops and places that sell after-workout smoothies.
I want to know how many years until I can see one of Kyles brothers or friends or co-workers and not get really really scared and hate myself?
I want to know how long until I don't quiver at the sight of french toast on a menu?
When will I stop thinking about the friends I lost or left because I wasn't really ever there?
How long till I don't have to ask myself why i've gone through 8 packs of gum?
I'd love to know how long until I can go to Kaleisia without crying before or after. That'd be a big deal.
Its really hard for me to have compassion for myself...
I was really sick then. But the consequences carry over...
ED: Consequences of your stupidity.
<3: Comet tails of your trauma.
ED: Your Weakness.
<3: Your Humanity.
ED: You're Worthless and bad and so very very unworthy.
<3: You're Precious and good and absolutely worth love.
ED: But now you're unforgivable. And you've done too much damage. Nothing you could ever say or do or be would ever be enough.
<3: There is no enough.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change.
the courage to change the things I can,
the wisdom to know the difference,
and the willingness to take action one day at a time.
I'm supposed to take it one day at a time.
But sometimes when I lay down to go to bed
I wonder how long till I get there...
wherever the hell "ok" is...
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Hello World, This is me. Life should be, ~Fun for everyone.~
I blabber, therefore I am.
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One Winged Bird
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User Comments: [1] [add]
User Comments: [1] [add]
Community Member
I don't know you very well and I've certainly no idea of what you've been through, but I can offer this much: You have, without a doubt, the strength to fix yourself. I'm certain that you know this despite the nagging doubts that linger, because you've already started boldly down the path to improve your self or your situation, whichever it may be.
Hold your head high and keep going. Good luck. C:
Before you start thinking I'm a creepy stalker, I should point out that I've PMed Calvin recently and in doing so noticed your comment on his profile. This is Maxine from art class at Wharton, if you remember me. : )