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God, I need some serious help!
I mean, im screwing up every way I turn.
If my mom finds out that I've started to smoke, then she'll kill me.
If she also finds out about how I screwed Matt. She'll kill me.
That's why I want to go live with him. Then I won't be scared constantly.
And I won't have the s**t beaten out of me.
I hate being scared. Ya know?
He's 18 on the second, of January, I believe. But what ever.
It doesn't matter. Not really.
I want to get out of here. So damn badly.
There's nothing in the laws that prevent parents from hittin there kids.
Only if they leave marks.
And she did. I showed the police the marks, the cuts she left on me, afterwords. And they threatened ME with Juvi. Because I had left a bruise on her arm.

You know, I don't get it.
I don't understand my depression.
I don't understand why I'm still here, or why I'm alive.
Heh. I'd rather be in ********' Juvi, then home.
If I ran away with Matt, I'd be safe. And I'd be with some one I somewhat trust.
And, with him, I know where I stand. I KNOW he only wants me for sex, and I can live with that.
That doesn't bother me. Much.

God, I'm lonely, and depressed.
And