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Dear Diary
Where to start? Everything has been a pretty fine; nothing much has been worrying me… Well… That’s kinda a lie I guess. I have been worrying over something. Something I normally don’t worry about since there never really been a reason for me to worry about. Until now…
Out of everything that I’ve ever gone through this is the one that stumps me >< It’s just the most annoying thing in the world at this moment. It’s bugging me to hell and back again. I always keep asking myself if I deserve it. I’m I actually of some worth like people say I am? It’s has always been the worst habit that I’ve had and I do know that it bugs people when I do ask… But I can’t help it. What is it that makes me of worth to people? Am no one special. I scare almost every one. So am I a monster? If that is so why did they say I deserve everything?
I REALLY don’t know what I should do. I’m not used to this kind of treatment. It confuses me to no end. I have more questions than answers. My head is fuzzy even now and I’m developing a major headache. Urgh why did this have to happen to me? Why did people suddenly start to take an interest in me?
I deserve no more than I am worth, If I think I’m worth nothing then I don’t deserve anything, But If I’m worth the world to someone then I’d deserve the world. Too many factors of the other person play against what I used to think. I don’t like it. I was used to just being of no worth… being alone was something I was used to. Why did that have to change? A monster, a monster that’s all I am. Not many people can change my mind about that. Even if you changed the name or change the look, there still is a monster. Why did I have to feel that feeling that’s so special? Why… Why should a Monster, like me, be allowed to Love?