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Alright... I'm here to mainly talk about love and fear today, along with subliminal and subconsious actions....

Love... It's always a strange word, and every time you hear me talk about it, it's always a little different. Love is defined as deep tender blah blah. Love is not defined to anyone's sastification. The word I like best for love is Ai. It's just a two leter japanese word... simplistic in every way, just two vowles by eachother, pronounced aye. There is another type of love in the japanese langue, koi. Pronounced coy. There is a saying to differencate the two. Koi is always wanting, ai is always giving. That should resenate in your thoughts for a bit. Koi is always wanting. When you hear girls posting their bullitians on myspace, I want this in a guy, it's koi... now koi is not much different then ai, just a tad more... towards selfish... more like finding happyness with someone else. Ai is more like finding happyness through giving happyness. When were tought words, we either link them to another word, or a picture or motion. What is love linked to? Maybe a poem or epigram, maybe someone's body or eyes. The thing is, those are all just... well lets use an example. Think of the word wood. Think about it for a minute. Did you imagine cedar? Birch? red oak? pine? no. you most likly just imagined just one of those things... while wood is all of them, and every single one of them. Now, that's the same thing you proably do when you think about love. Love is usualy anchored to one perticualr idea, one item or such. This is the main reason people face difficulty when rejected or such. There is a saying, "when you love something, give it away". Think about it. Think about one thing you dont think you could live with out, do you love it? do you love that x-box, or your pet, or even just your room? most likly, yes. I define love as, "An object or person, whom which you experience deep and harsh pain when seperated and rejected by." That's what love is. The problem with that? there is one. Ai is the fufillness of giving out happyness... Usualy loving somethign is enough to make it happy. If you love a cat, it's happy ( as long as you feed it and stuff too), give it away, so it may be loved. If you have a problem with that, them most likly, you have a koi type of love for it. You WANT it, you NEED it. That's koi. That's also impurity. Love is love, love is not just something with a bitter gooey center. Their's also another problem with love. Fear.

I stand by the object, that all evil is derived from fear. I am fearful of entering love because, not of rejection, but because I feel the time isn't right... I feel that if I do now, then I'll destroy what I have with other people... Fear is many things. It is a chemical reaction, it is a protective program, embeded into our bodies, and it's also selfisness. Most fear is that somethign bad will happen to YOU. Maybe you'll die, maybe someone else will die, and deep down, deep deep down, well all sometimes say to ourselves, if they die I couldn't live with my self, if they died, I'd be so lonly. I do that all the time. Now, I over came that... Just look at that really hard... If they DIE, I'll be LONLY. which seems worse? To me, lonly seems worse. Not because I want to die, but because I'm comfortable truly being me, and being where ever I am. It's not really anythign hard to do, it's just stopping the feeling that what you fear, what is noble, may really not be what it seems. At first, I though I'd never take a bullet for anyone, because I though that's be hell for them If they loved me, and instead I'd let them go on, and I'd take the life of lonlyness... but as I like to say, Life changes, and so should thoughts. that changed... because I know... better now. Just keeping an open mind, just always looking at every sistuation backwards, just reading what your being given upside down... is usualy all you need to be more aware. This was pretty much my though process.
Fist, take an idea.

Taking a bullet for someone is noble, because they get to live.
I took another Idea,
If someone died, I'd be lonly forever
and I pretty much turned around the first one, and mixed it with the second.
Taking a bullet for someone is putitng them through hell, because of the lonlyness and guilt that it would serve them
Since I thought of that... I found my self associationg with people that would care less if I died... just because of that single though. I am not sure what turned it around... maybe I had that though out of selfishness, maybe not, but it changed. I flinched with I though of it.

Flinching is also another out put of fear. We see somethign getting hurled at us, and we duck or something. I, personaly, don't flinch much, because if someone dares hit me with something, I'll shove it up their a**... or somethign... anywho! it's a subliminal decision your body makes, because it feels' it's best for you. It's something that it does, to make sure it surives. There is also another reaction similar... being put into a state of shock. What that does, is pretty much just shuts down higher body functions, in order to divert enegry and resources to it's self, making sure that the internal envirnoment of our bodies is safe. However, how we interact and how we shape our environment has evolved many, many times faster than our own internal function. Someone once asked me, more told me, that a fish evolves into a certian color, such as to blend in with it's environment, because the fish looks at the environment around it, and that immage, mainly the colors, are imprinted into it's subconsious, which inturn, slowly changes it's dna, to match that immage. No, it happens because if a flounder was anyother color, it dies. Since it dies, it dosn't have a chance to pass on it's dna, and dosn't have a chance to evolve fully. Haha, sucks for the ornage flounder.. anyways... it's a random mutation, if it's beneficial, then it is better suited for surival. If not, then it dies, and cannot have it's young carry the same dna. Thus, if it helps the creature, then it is passed on, because it surives long enough to deliver it's... alright, were stopping here.
Our bodies work the same way. what happens when a phone rings, isnt' that our subconsious goes, alright, the phone's ringing. It goes somethign more like "LOUD NOISE, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!!", which makes us jump to see what it is. That developed for a very good reason. When we experience fear, two thigns happen at once. First, we react. We get ready to run like hell, or kick something's a**. Second, we go through the higer though processies. The second takes longer to kick in, here's why. Our body knows that our higher functions cant be trusted. Logic isn't always what's best. If a cougar is hiding in our celing, no matter how illogical, or improbal, it's better to react, in the sence that there is immedeat danger, only to find out that it's the phone, rather then to think it's just the phone, and find our selves being eaten. This is a GOOD GOOD thing. It's what let's us stay alive, and what blocks out reasoning. Fortunaly, and possably unfortunaly, this can be overriden with traning or simply motovation. If I take a typing class, I'll know how to type with out having to think of anythign but the word I want to type, sometimes my reaction is even better, when I dont even have to think, just through simple past experience, know what I'm thinking, before I can think it, and type it also. They say that we only use 10% of our brains, most people think that that can't be, because of all the intricate deatils that go into our thoughs. In fact, our thoughts are pretty much the only thing that we use or brains for. We tell our bodies to walk, and we walk. The actualy muscle control isn't in our brains. It's in our lower back. Out brain send a message to our lower back, and that part of our body know's how to walk. When we're infiants, we have to give our legs experence to know how to walk, and once we get that down, we can stop consiously trying to tell our legs, go out so I dont fricking fall you bastards!. I put that there... because when we think about things, when we precieve, it's simmilar. I'm going to put a word here, tell me what's the first thing you think of.






BLACK PEOPLE
what did you think? Most likly african american people. What you sould of considered is possably what could cause a person to be black? maybe they got fried by lightining, maybe there frost bitten? limiting your mind to one, most common result is the main reason our society has george bush as a president. (Joke). Anyways, limiting our selves to one possabality is easy to do. It's easy to belive that the rining comming from our pocket is a cell phone, rather than a quarter. However, the thing is, what if it was from the quarter? what if you took the cell phone out of your pocket, and it wasn't what was ringing? woudl you jsut ignore it? or possably blame it on, "I'm just hearing things" most likly. What that means, is that it's perfectlay fine to have a, "what is most likly" list, but when that one list consists only of one thing, then we run into trouble. Maybe the quarter in your pocket want some air? GOD MAN! YOUR KILLING THE QUARTER! that is exagurated, let me bring it into a real life perspective...


Let's say your in school. Alright... now to tie this back into love. You find a note taped to your locker. You find it on the inside. From that, you can draw only two conclusion, and under one cirmstance. Either you left yoru locker open, or you kept it locked. However, you always keep your locker locked, so then the second, you can draw two conclusions. 1) The perosn knew you. 2) the person know's your locker combination. Now, you havent told anyone your locker combo, like a nice good person, there for, it must either of been 1) someone who's locker is next to yours, who would of had a chance to see you open your locker 2)Someone who just hanges around you when you open your locker, or 3)a random person who just saw you open your locker one day. From that, you eliminate number 3, because the same person must of passed several times, several days, for them to gather all the numbers nessary, and you would of noticed someone looking over your back. Alright, back to the note. You open it, it's writen in pink highlighter, and in a girls' handriting. On it, is only a few words. "I LOVE YOU" and a large pink heart around your name there. So, we know it's one of your friends, or someone who's locker is next to yours. You dont have too many girls whom would regularly hang around you, thus that one is exempt. And there is only one girl by your locker. Her name is sara... somethign hott for a last name... anywho... you must know it's sara!... But there's something wrong. Look at the fisrt thign that you eliminated. You eliminated the fact that you may of not locked yoru locker the last day... But you really did. THe simply fact that it is not likly FORCED you to eliminate it from possabality. Now, one other thing you eliminated, that someone couldn't of looked behind you while you were opening your locker, but someone did. They waited, and only once a week did they look over you, and after a month of chance encounters, driven by something unknown at this time, they patently found out yoru combination. Next thign you over looked... the handwriting. Yes, it may of been a girls, for certian it is, but that dosn't mean that someone couldn't of possably made someone write it for them. Oblivious to all of this, you walk to sara, and casualy talk to her, trying to act suave as possably, and she utterly rejects you, right there. For a minute there, everyone's laughing at you. You've made a huge mistake, and your too embarased to even realize how you came to make that mistake. Now, the point behind this is that in that process, you made three different types of assumpsions. 1) What is unlikly didn't happen. It wasn't likly that you kept your locker unlocked, thus you dismissed it. 2)What you KNOW couldn't of happened, didnt. You knew someone couldn't pass you by and find out your combo, with out you noticing... and you were wrong. 3) you didn't even stop to concider that there was evil intentions afoot! You didn't stop to even concider more possabalities at this point. Look at how those errors are made... the first one eliminated was the main support to not belive that it was an honest, and ernest note, when infact it was sisister in nature. You didn't even realize that you had dismissed the fact that it may be a cruel intention, You didn't even realize why you ommited it, you jsut did by nature. each one progressivly becomes more apparent, while at the same time is less of a factor to why we belive it's earnest. That's why some people's only reason for why their afraid is a small, stupid reason, that is also most apparent, because they dont even realize what their thinking.

In my examply is one huge flaw. The good behind the evil, fear, in this case of rejection. Fear also has an effect of skeptisism to it. we belive that people are out to get us, we belvie that people are trying to harm us, because once agian, it's better to belive that someone is trying to stab us when they touch us, only to find that their just being friendly, rather then to think there being friendly, and to find out their trying to stab us. In that light, fear is good.

I'm done for now... I need... porn... or somthing. Just as a last note, as Physical assumpsions, such as flinching and such, can be over come, so can out thoughts, and it's very important to keep an open mind, and I've just told you how to do that. Make the invisable visable. Think hard to uncover hidden reasons we are afraid, and in that way we can keep it in check, because as I've shown, we need that fear to help our reasoning, and to keep one side of the spectrum of an open mind.