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This is from a friend's journal, plz submit your own, though!
*~* Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...

*~* Do you know the difference between my p***s and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

*~* Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?

*~* Excuse me, have I ******** you yet?

*~* Excuse me. Do you want to ******** or should I apologize?

*~* Fancy a ********?

*~* Boy;Hi, wanna ********?
Girl; No!
Boy; Mind lying down while I do?

*~* I am a magical being, take off your bra.

*~* I love you. I want to marry you. Now ******** my brains out.

*~* I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

*~* I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?

*~* I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!

*~* I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.

*~* I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles b***h!

*~* I'd like to tie you to a rafter and ******** you up and down.

*~* I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.

*~* I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

*~* If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

*~* Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.

*~* Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

*~* My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.

*~* Nice shoes, wanna ********?

*~* Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?

*~* NOW, b***h!

*~* Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?

*~* Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

*~* Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

*~* Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"

*~* The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to ******** you on the floor.

*~* The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

*~* We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and ********.

*~* What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

*~* Let's go get liquored up and rape each other.

*~* I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart... (Thats so sweet )

*~* Nice legs, lets eat out.

*~* Hey! Wanna play war? (replies)WHAT? (you)Yea, I lay on the ground and you blow the ******** outta me!

*~* You touch his shirt and ask, "Is this cotton?" Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, "Oh, this must be felt."

*~* Hi my name is (your name), did I mention I have a p***s.

*~* My d**k's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?

*~* If I take off my clothes, will you ******** me?

*~* If I told you I had a 2 inch d**k would you ******** me? (if she says no) say Good, because mine is 8 inches.

*~* Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!

*~* Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the taste of your v****a!

*~* I'd rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in

*~* Do you wanna lick my tongue?

*~* Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I'm nice.

*~* Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length of the p***s is six inches, the average female received two hundred and sixteen inches or fifteen feet per intercourse. Three times per week, fifty two weeks in a year, so, 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just over a mile and a half. If you are not getting your mile and a half, why not let me help out?

*~* First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.

*~* You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

*~* Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I like Spaghetti, Let's go ********!

*~* May i pleasure you with my tongue?

*~* So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?

*~* I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.

*~* Mines bigger than his want proof?

*~* You are rubber, I'm glue, what ever you say, I bet I will ******** you.

*~* Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead!

*~* Would you ******** a complete stranger? (No) Then Hi, my name is...

*~* Are you gay? (No.) Wow, me neither, let's have sex.

*~* Hi. Last night, a little leprechaun came up to me and told me that if you don't have sex with me tonight, your(or my) d**k is going to fall off. We don't want that now do we?

*~* I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first participant?

*~* If I washed my d**k, would you suck it? (No.) Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.

*~* Life is like a d**k. When it gets hard, "******** it".

*~* love is a sensation; caused by a temptation; to feel penetration; a guy sticks his location; in a girl's destination; to increase the population; for the next generation; did you get my explanation; or do you need a demonstration?

*~* Nice ******** weather. Want to?

*~* Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under...

*~* I ran out of Viagra. Can I use you?