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Heart Break (Part not all) |
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[12:53:00 AM] Naki F. says: I can only begin to tell you how hurt I am... [12:53:18 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: there is absolutely no point in killing yourself [12:53:23 AM] Naki F. says: I have literally been sick to my stomach for days... [12:53:30 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: as have i.. [12:53:38 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i was waiting till i was entirely numb.,. [12:53:43 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: to say anything.. [12:53:52 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: period.. [12:54:20 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: you think you are [12:54:23 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: you're not [12:54:26 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: haha. [12:54:33 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: wanna put that to the test? [12:54:37 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: you're ignoring the pain really [12:54:54 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: can you honestly determine that? [12:54:57 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: numb is you CANT feel. even if you wanted to. [12:55:00 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: aye. i can [12:55:07 AM] Naki F. says: So right now it wouldn't matter at all if I told you that I hate you...I hate you for letting me love you all this time and then ending THIS WAY!? You could have lied! Anything but this...You lie to me time and time again and keep things from me but the most painful...you decide to tell me? [12:55:21 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: tell me i don't know what i'm talking about. tell me. same bullshit people always try and pull [12:55:35 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: well ill put it like this. [12:56:12 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i feal somthing... its real.. then it vanishes .. i dont have time to think about it.. i dont have a care in the world.. [12:56:20 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i feal the pain.. [12:56:25 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: and right now. you hate me. you hate me for acting like i know wtf i'm talking about. [12:56:26 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: for a matter of seconds. [12:56:34 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: lol [12:56:37 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i dont hate you [12:56:42 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i disagree with you.. [12:56:47 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: rather big difference. [12:57:14 AM] Naki F. says: Well, my feelings for you are still here...why are you doing this? Things get better...why? [12:57:15 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: and with that you must think. and to think you must have something (emotionaly) to base what your thinking on [12:57:41 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: you dont need any form of emotion to think ma friend.. [12:58:04 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: aye. you do [12:58:08 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: and things did get better.. [12:58:15 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: for a short time.. [12:59:42 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: you need to just talk to people and vent. so ******** pathetic at this point it's all i can do to stand to talk to you. i'm going to tell you that straight up. not to be mean. but of course your numb. so does it really matter? [12:59:58 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: nope [1:00:02 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: thus i need to die. [1:00:08 AM] Naki F. says: NO! WHAT THE HELL?! [1:00:25 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: could be days.. weeks... months .. years... [1:00:34 AM] Naki F. says: You don't need to die! You need to get help! Right now! [1:00:36 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: everyone in due time dies aiden [1:00:43 AM] Naki F. says: Not the way he wants to! [1:00:59 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: true blake very true im just selfish and want to die faster.. [1:01:02 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: and untill that day comes. live. nothing to truely so terrible you need to die for, save like hitler and heartless cunts like him [1:01:14 AM] Naki F. says: What happened to Aiden? I want him back... [1:01:25 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: he died . [1:01:29 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: a long time ago.. [1:01:41 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: probably when i was at age .... 10? [1:01:43 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: idk,, [1:01:47 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: *sarcastic clap* [1:02:50 AM] Naki F. says: No. What happened to my Aiden. The one that I used to stay up till 3 in the morning for? Huh? What about that Aiden? You know the one that I wrote the song for...And took the pictures for... [1:02:51 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: bravo. are you going to write a depressing noval next? or perhaps a soap opera.. [1:03:09 AM] Naki F. says: And the one I tried to get a hold of every chance I got in California... [1:03:22 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i just explained this... he died.. [1:03:22 AM] Naki F. says: Randle! That's enough [1:03:32 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: bull ******** s**t [1:03:32 AM] Naki F. says: He wasn't dead two weeks ago? [1:04:01 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: the closest thing to having happened to him. is depression causing him to become skitso, thus. we have you [1:04:07 AM] Naki F. says: I know you care. You have to... [1:04:15 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: lmao [1:04:31 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: skitso is a big word for the subject. [1:04:31 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: not saying that DID happe [1:04:52 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: but it's pretty ******** close [1:06:01 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: well let me explain something.. many years ago.. i went to a mental health clinic.. i was seeing things.. i went to therapy.. and then wanted to kill myself.. the mistake i made was that i told people who could acctually do something about it.. [1:06:06 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: There is the aiden that naki wants. something happened. he was over welmed. we don't have him atm. we have you. what he wished himself to become [1:06:39 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i dont wish for much anymore.. [1:06:54 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i suppose a bus to hit me... or fred the u.p.s guy.. [1:07:09 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: w/e comes first. [1:07:33 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: same pathetic none sense.. [1:07:43 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: yeah i suppose. [1:07:45 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden...What about me? Didn't you miss me? YOU DON'T CARE?!? [1:08:15 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: "i wana die. i hate my life poor me...poor me... let me kill myself so it won't hurt anymore. because i don't have the balls to deal with reality" [1:08:20 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i did miss you... i did care.. but now... everytime i talk to you.. in pains me to think about what i want.. and then.. the pains gone again [1:08:43 AM] Naki F. says: Then let it be gone! [1:08:49 AM] Naki F. says: Why can't you let it be gone? [1:09:05 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: because................. [1:09:10 AM] Naki F. says: Because why? [1:09:15 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: theres nothing to be let gone [1:10:38 AM] Naki F. says: Why now? [1:10:44 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: why not now? [1:11:16 AM] Naki F. says: Because of me! If you're gonna be selfish then I'm gonna be selfish too...I want you. [1:11:29 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: lifes a b***h? [1:12:21 AM] Naki F. says: I'm not gonna get mad at you. Say what you want...I'm not gonnna leave you alone. [1:12:41 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: you need to be mad.. [1:12:47 AM] Naki F. says: I refuse. [1:12:47 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: its better for everyone. [1:12:54 AM] Naki F. says: I love you too much. I'm not mad. [1:13:25 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: well then thats your problem you'll have to accept the fact that when i die you still had somthing to care for, [1:13:43 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: bad choice in my honest opion [1:13:55 AM] Naki F. says: We all make bad choices sometimes. [1:14:00 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: yup. [1:14:11 AM] Naki F. says: But this one is un-doable...don't do it please [1:14:16 AM] Naki F. says: PLEASE [1:14:37 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: all mistakes are "un-doable" [1:14:48 AM] Naki F. says: Not killing yourself [1:15:05 AM] Naki F. says: Baby, I wished for you everynight...You cannot do this to me. [1:15:14 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: im not doing it to you .. [1:15:25 AM] Naki F. says: Yes you are...You are ripping my heart apart. [1:15:35 AM] Naki F. says: You! Not anyone else. You are. [1:15:41 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: and when you make a mistake.. fixing it doesnt mean that the mistake was undone.. [1:16:24 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: No matter how much you will try and say "no one understands" i completely understand. i had the same pain you did. for some reasons worse. and some for taking everythink so heavily. I mad myself completely numb. I hurt someone i loved. and for absolutely no reason because i went past what your at and hit anger so deap i would kill whoever and whatever step in front of my path untill i was killed. i was on a reckless rampage for weeks. i got in s**t at school. here. i had knives with me at all times. And when i finally reasoned with myself. I'm as insane as you and when tempted. i go right back to what happened. the point is live through a little longer. you will end up reasoning with yourself and realizing how much you need your friends and family. you don't really want to die. you want things to be better. and you see, as of now, the only escape is death. when it's not really [1:16:55 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: and no [1:17:07 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: absolutely possitively, no mistake is un-doable [1:17:20 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: but none but a few are EVER unforgivable [1:17:26 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: and let me explain somthing to you.. [1:17:55 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: thats happened to you.. 1-2 times.. how about having it happen to you for years at a time.,. voices telly you to kill yourself.. [1:18:01 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i want you to pray [1:18:13 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: pray that you dont ever have to go through 10 years of it.. [1:18:22 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: because if you do. [1:18:30 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: you'll kill yourself.. i promise. [1:18:43 AM] Naki F. says: I want to hear your voice...Now [1:18:44 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: its not debateable.. [1:18:56 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: why would that be? [1:19:15 AM] Naki F. says: Because I love your voice..I love you...Please I wanna talk to you... [1:19:29 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: sounds like a personal problem [1:19:37 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: no, naki and i have a friend that for like. 18 years now? has been suicidal. and she's alive this day. happy. she has someone and she has a better life now [1:19:58 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: hey bud big difference between suicidal and whats going on with me. [1:20:14 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: ah. and hows that? [1:21:20 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: suicide.. first off its the killing of ones self. for one reason or another. Imo i have assisted suicidal disorder. Which is the feeling that someone or somthing is going to help you kill yourself.. thus the voices in my head.. [1:21:51 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: ...and you said skitso was the wrong word... [1:21:52 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: and of course the fact that everywhere i go i see signs.. the signs.. they've been there ever since i can remember.. [1:22:04 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i never said it was wrong [1:22:09 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: just a little to big. [1:22:30 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: how is it too big? hearing voices that arn't there [1:22:33 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: thats a part of it [1:22:45 AM] Naki F. says: He's saying it's a minor version of the disease [1:22:50 AM] Naki F. says: It's not full blown [1:22:53 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: i forced it on myself to keep myself from what you are [1:22:54 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: no [1:22:55 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: wrong [1:23:06 AM] Naki F. says: Then what you're saying is making no sense [1:23:14 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i know [1:23:18 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: and i accept that [1:23:27 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden go get help. [1:23:28 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: just realise and understand that ill get my way.. [1:23:52 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: im not going for help this time.. someone will say something to the wrong person.. [1:24:00 AM] Naki F. says: You're gonna get through this...You're strong. Stop speaking this way. [1:24:27 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: ill stop speaking this way. but that doesnt mean im not going to go through with it. [1:25:10 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: if you want ill play it off.. act like it all never happened.. attempt to "feal" but not only will it not work but it will lead to my faster death.. [1:25:43 AM] Naki F. says: I don't want that... I want you to get better...Go get HELP now [1:25:55 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: sorry but i just simply cant do that. [1:26:04 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: don't force him for help [1:26:10 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: i see why he doesn't want to [1:26:51 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: ill be stopped,. and if they believe it is bad enough ill be sent to a sike hospital till im 30.. i can afford for that to happen [1:27:50 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i worked for months coming up with a progam to allow me to vent like this.. scramble my ip address.. i took C++ lessons and java lessons from some real pros.. [1:28:04 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: it was well worth it.. [1:28:15 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: not that the months meant much to me anyway.. [1:28:31 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: but they tended to go by fast enough.. [1:29:30 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: no more input on the topic i presume? [1:29:45 AM] Naki F. says: I just don't know anymore...I can't really breathe...so yeah [1:29:56 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i see. [1:30:10 AM] Naki F. says: And you don't care so I'm kinda having a slight melt down [1:30:59 AM] Naki F. says: And I'm not sure if this is serious or if you're just having a really really bad episode [1:31:00 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: blake. i may or may not care.. but i know you would protect naki with your life.. so while this is going on.. please just stay with her.. for me. [1:31:27 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: i have and will [1:31:36 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: i want you well. just like her [1:31:40 AM] Naki F. says: You don't care...you wouldn't do this if you did... [1:32:50 AM] Naki F. says: What did I do? What didn't I do...I just wannt to make it better? Please I'll do anything [1:33:01 AM] Naki F. says: I can't breathe... [1:34:00 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: deep inside of you.. an encanting love for naki has sat.. dont lie dont denie anything.. i knew it from the day i heard you two talking.. i accepted it and moved on.. naki. i realise you dated him out of pity but.. you really should give him your love.. he cares more about you then i could ever.. more then your family.. more then everyone. you need eachother... so much in common so much the same. good things will come of it.. trust me.. give the guy as many chances as he needs.. it will be worth it. [1:34:34 AM] Naki F. says: What? [1:34:44 AM] Naki F. says: What are you talking about? [1:34:50 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: dude. lol. yes, she's like family too me. but thats it. sorry to tell you [1:35:18 AM] Naki F. says: I love you! AIDEN WHAT?!? [1:35:21 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: if thats totally true blake.. which i know it isnt.. atleast be there for her forever.. a brother if you wil. [1:35:43 AM] Naki F. says: I'm in love with you! WHAT THE HELL? [1:36:01 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: love him not me.. [1:36:09 AM] Naki F. says: I don't want to love him...not that way [1:36:09 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: its for the best. i promise [1:36:20 AM] Naki F. says: I LOVE YOU!!! Not him don't do this [1:36:34 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: then love him as a brother and love ... somone else the way you think that you love me [1:36:48 AM] Naki F. says: I know I love you...I know I do...please...stop... [1:36:55 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: she knows damn well she loves you! [1:37:18 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: she has played herself into believing that.. sorry to say [1:37:27 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: bull ******** s**t [1:37:51 AM] Naki F. says: No I haven't...With Wayo yes...With any other guy yes...but not you... [1:38:14 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: its a phase.. you'll work out of it. [1:38:19 AM] Naki F. says: No I won't...Aiden... [1:38:23 AM] Naki F. says: Please [1:38:47 AM] Naki F. says: I thought you loved me...You said you did...In that voice of yours...Please... [1:38:59 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: please what................. [1:39:03 AM] Naki F. says: STOP! [1:39:08 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: stop what? [1:39:22 AM] Naki F. says: Stop what you're doing stop what you're thinking stop being numb stop pretending you don't give a damn about me [1:39:41 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: its not you. its me. [1:39:45 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: lol.. [1:39:49 AM] Naki F. says: ... [1:39:52 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: sorry ahd to get that in there [1:40:17 AM] Naki F. says: See? even in this terrible time you made me laugh...come on...don't do this to me...stay alive stay with me... [1:41:09 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: ill stay alive in your thoughts.. thats what you need to be happy. love is a state of mind.. a coma if you will.. its meant to be there with the possibilty of stopping. [1:41:46 AM] Naki F. says: Thoughts aren't good enough. [1:41:54 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: nore is life. [1:41:58 AM] Naki F. says: Stop trying to lie to yourself [1:42:31 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: lies... isnt that what the bases' of civilasation is...... [1:42:49 AM] Naki F. says: Who cares about civilization? I care about us...About you. [1:43:16 AM] Naki F. says: What else matters in the world? Everything was better when I had you to talk to every night... [1:43:42 AM] Naki F. says: When you told me that you loved me...When we had stupid conversations about prizes and prize owners [1:43:53 AM] Naki F. says: Don't throw all of that away... [1:44:21 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: its not throwing it away if it already happened.. you cant undo an action.. words.. touches.. anything. [1:44:51 AM] Naki F. says: You can make it so that it hurts to think about them...you're throwing away a future... [1:45:09 AM] Naki F. says: not just yours either...Mine...ours. I was willing to do so much for you Aiden. [1:45:22 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: Aiden, here's my 2 cents... "it's just a phase, you'll get out of it." [1:45:25 AM] Naki F. says: And I'm still very willing [1:45:55 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: well i must say that i have lied to you a countless nuber of times.. things that i doubt matter now.. [1:46:00 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: but.. [1:46:09 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: ive come to far to start telling the truth [1:46:19 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: and there it is again.. i need to die. [1:46:51 AM] Naki F. says: I don't care about the lies...I know you do it 'cause you care...so please...Just care again... [1:46:56 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: no it's not you fool! i can bet my soul, that she'd STILL LOVE YOU even through those lies [1:47:06 AM] Naki F. says: You don't need to. You want to... [1:47:10 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: haha [1:47:17 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i know she would [1:47:28 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: and thats the worst part of the situation [1:47:49 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden...just let yourself calm down...get help... [1:47:57 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i told you.. [1:47:58 AM] Naki F. says: Please...I can't lose you. not like this [1:48:07 AM] Naki F. says: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU TOLD ME! [1:48:19 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: naki. don't force him to get help [1:48:34 AM] Naki F. says: I'm not forcing him... [1:48:35 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: really aiden. all the ******** help you need would be naki and your good friends [1:48:51 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i have goosebumps.. im cold... im.... crying? [1:49:02 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: im not sure i feal the water but.. [1:49:12 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i dont feal pained.. [1:49:22 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: is this the time.. [1:49:26 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: another sign maybe.. [1:49:30 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: im not sure. [1:49:53 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden...Darling...I love you...Why can't you see that and stop hurting me like this? [1:50:09 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: your not numb! all you need is those you love. and those that love you. they will help you through EVERYTHING [1:50:23 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: you guys.. i thinks its time. [1:50:33 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: tears without pain.. [1:50:37 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: it has to be a sign [1:50:44 AM] Naki F. says: ... [1:50:46 AM] Naki F. says: sign for what? [1:50:51 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: death [1:50:53 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden...don't you dare... [1:51:01 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden...you keep typing [1:51:03 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: you idiot [1:51:21 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: but this isnt what i planned for.. [1:51:25 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: tears without pain happen with great joy and realizing something important [1:51:37 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: hmm.. [1:52:18 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden...I'm begging you with every part of my soul...and my heart and my mind...don't do it... [1:52:26 AM] Naki F. says: Keep typing... [1:52:38 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: the important thing. you have someone that loves you. you can get through anything with just her. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is too impossible for the both of you [1:52:41 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: but.. it would be so easy.. i could let go.. [1:52:47 AM] Naki F. says: No! DON'T!! [1:52:55 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: easy is not better [1:52:55 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i would be free.. [1:52:57 AM] Naki F. says: Don't let go... [1:53:03 AM] Naki F. says: Just keep typing... [1:53:13 AM] Naki F. says: I love you soo much...Don't let go... [1:53:21 AM] Naki F. says: Just keep ******** typing!! NOW! [1:53:30 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: Think about it dude. think of all the good things [1:53:31 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i [1:53:33 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: every last one [1:53:44 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden...Stop... [1:53:51 AM] Naki F. says: Stop doing this... [1:53:57 AM] Naki F. says: Keep typing... [1:54:00 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i cant even speak.. my throats heavy.. [1:54:03 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: and i promise you it amounts to more than ANY of the bad stuff [1:54:25 AM] Naki F. says: Talk about the hill...with the fireflies... [1:54:33 AM] Naki F. says: Tell Randle...He doesn't know about it... [1:54:41 AM] Naki F. says: Tell a story [1:54:46 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: you're not numb, you feel. it's something wonderful is it not? [1:54:49 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: acctually thats where i planned to die.. [1:54:54 AM] Naki F. says: NO! [1:55:01 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i want it so bad [1:55:06 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: so very very bad [1:55:09 AM] Naki F. says: Don't you want me more? [1:55:12 AM] Naki F. says: WANT ME MORE! [1:55:18 AM] Naki F. says: PLEASE [1:55:30 AM] Naki F. says: KEEEP TYPING!! [1:55:36 AM] Naki F. says: KEEP TYPING! [1:55:46 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: ******** [1:55:52 AM] Naki F. says: AIDEN [1:55:53 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: aiden damnit [1:56:08 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i just want to die.. please..........wEQAErddfg [1:56:11 AM] Naki F. says: NO [1:56:21 AM] Naki F. says: YOU CAN'T! I WON'T LET YOU!! [1:56:25 AM] Naki F. says: KEEP TYPING! [1:56:55 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: everything seems so blurry [1:56:57 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: dont be such a coward. you're strong. prove it [1:57:05 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden... [1:57:07 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i want it to go away,. [1:57:19 AM] Naki F. says: Stay with us... [1:57:29 AM] Naki F. says: Stay with me. I need you. [1:57:45 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: my hands.... their shaking.. [1:57:49 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: they never shake.. [1:57:53 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: never ******** [1:57:54 AM] Naki F. says: type! [1:58:01 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: because dude [1:58:03 AM] Naki F. says: NOW! [1:58:27 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: REALIZE WHAT YOU WILL LOSE! REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE EVERYONE HERE FOR YOU >< [1:58:33 AM] Naki F. says: AIDEN!!! [1:59:10 AM] Naki F. says: KEEP TYPING! [1:59:11 AM] Naki F. says: AIDEN! [1:59:11 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: aiden! [1:59:49 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i.. just......... want it to stop......... it hurts again. i went through this my whole life and want it to stop....... [1:59:56 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: theres only one way. [1:59:58 AM] Naki F. says: AIDEN STOP PLEASE!!! [2:00:08 AM] Naki F. says: STOP [2:00:33 AM] Naki F. says: Please please please don't [2:00:42 AM] Naki F. says: I LOVE YOU! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?! [2:00:46 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i want to do it now.. but the rational part of my brain is telling me to stick to the plan... but the signs.. they just keep comingf [2:00:50 AM] Naki F. says: Why won't you accept it... [2:01:06 AM] Naki F. says: Forget the plan there is no plan you're staying here with me. [2:01:13 AM] Naki F. says: Ignore them... [2:01:29 AM] Naki F. says: Focus on something that makes you happy... [2:01:41 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: there is no more happy... [2:01:48 AM] Naki F. says: YES THERE IS!! [2:01:50 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i stopped crying.. [2:01:57 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: my hands.. are steady [2:02:09 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: but.. [2:02:15 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: im not sure.. [2:02:20 AM] Naki F. says: Please... [2:02:33 AM] Naki F. says: Can I talk to you...I wanna hear your voice...please [2:02:46 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: im too ******** up i think. [2:02:54 AM] Naki F. says: No no it's fine... [2:02:58 AM] Naki F. says: Just let me hear you [2:03:01 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: no no its not. [2:03:10 AM] Naki F. says: Yes it is...it's going to be please [2:03:12 AM] Naki F. says: PLEASE [2:03:34 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: aiden [2:03:38 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: do me a favor [2:03:47 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/insanity_test.htm [2:03:53 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: stare at that for a while. please [2:04:17 AM] Naki F. says: Not funny [2:04:29 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden please...let me call on skype [2:04:29 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: did you know that 2 days ago i went to six flags.. i had such an easy way out .. i could have gone up to a roller coaster.. and made it look like an accident.. i could have made the pain stop.. but .. i knew too many people would get hurt.. so i need to stick to the plan.. [2:04:41 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: you can call i just wont answer. [2:04:43 AM] Naki F. says: No plan... [2:04:47 AM] Naki F. says: Please answer [2:05:02 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden... [2:05:03 AM] Naki F. says: please [2:05:41 AM] Naki F. says: AIDEN! [2:05:49 AM] Naki F. says: I just wanna hear you... [2:06:19 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: blake.. i didnt laugh not that it matters. [2:06:25 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: =/ [2:06:30 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: im not insane i just want to die. [2:06:33 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: big difference. [2:06:39 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: no...it wasn't ment for that.. [2:06:49 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: it was ment to try and make you smile. or something [2:06:54 AM] Naki F. says: Baby please...Let me talk to you [2:07:00 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: wel.. sadly that failed [2:07:36 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden [2:07:44 AM] Naki F. says: LET ME TALK TO YOU! [2:07:46 AM] Naki F. says: PLEASE! [2:08:14 AM] Naki F. says: AIDEN [2:08:21 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: im still cold as holy ********. [2:08:39 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden I want to talk to you...please [2:08:44 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: why. [2:08:58 AM] Naki F. says: I want to talk to you... [2:09:28 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: ive thought about everything that ive said to you.. simple things that were lies.. things that wouldnt have mattered.. and i want to tell you now. but i cant. [2:09:54 AM] Naki F. says: Please...tell me...let me talk to you...please for me? [2:10:05 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i cant.. [2:10:14 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: the goosebumps are back.. [2:10:15 AM] Naki F. says: Then just talk...You don't have to tell me anything [2:10:21 AM] Naki F. says: Let me talk! [2:10:34 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: ill talk but my mic will be on mute. [2:11:02 AM] Naki F. says: WHAT THE HELL?! [2:11:03 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: there ya go.. [2:11:10 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: thats all you get [2:11:29 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: -_- [2:11:53 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: ******** hell. someone came in there. and now is being a douche [2:11:58 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: she signed out or something.. [2:12:01 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: yup [2:12:05 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: dude, seriously.. [2:12:09 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: ? [2:12:14 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: please don't do this [2:12:29 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: its honestly just too late.. [2:12:39 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: it's never too ******** late [2:12:54 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: you might have been able to help me a few weeks ago but.. i made it so you couldnt [2:13:04 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: WHY?! [2:13:13 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: thankfully.. you probably would have ended up talking me out of it,., [2:13:23 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: or somthing along those lines,, [2:13:42 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: whats wrong with that [2:13:52 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: I DONT WANT TO BE HELPED [2:13:56 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: PERIOD [2:13:59 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: WHY! [2:14:02 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: .. [2:14:20 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i want to die.. ive waited so long.. [2:14:57 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: but wtf [2:14:59 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: why? [2:15:01 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: dont worry though i have no intention of cutting myself shooting myself or anything like that.. [2:15:12 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: im going to O.D on sleeping pills. [2:15:24 AM] Naki F. says: ... [2:15:30 AM] ™ßľåķę đäұϊ§ says: what the ******** hell [2:16:04 AM] Naki F. says: Aiden.. [2:16:07 AM] Naki F. says: Please don't [2:16:08 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i did the math in grams. it wil give me 20 minutes before im asleep. 40 minutes before im dead and 64 or so minutes before i cant be revived. [2:16:15 AM] Naki F. says: NO! [2:16:20 AM] Naki F. says: AIDEN PLEASE [2:16:54 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: thus im using the hill in kansas ill walk a good 2 hours into the woods in all directions.. then end it. [2:16:59 AM] Naki F. says: Just go to sleep...sleep on it [2:17:03 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: haha [2:17:09 AM] Naki F. says: Please [2:17:12 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: ive been sleeping on it for years [2:17:25 AM] Naki F. says: One more day shouldn't hurt then [2:17:28 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i just now took the time to put it on paper. [2:17:44 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: i even have a carrying case for my suicide note V_V [2:17:47 AM] Aiden Balistreri says: ^_^** [2:18:10 AM] Naki F. says: ...
ToxicXMoonXGoddessX · Sun Jul 20, 2008 @ 09:58pm · 0 Comments |
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