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pain pain this pain pain this...blah blah blah pain blah
YAY!! I FEEL NO PAIN ANYMORE!!! physically....but i do hurt alot emotionally..cuz i hurt someone really bad. i cried so hard over that...i dont like hurting people. i dont ever want to do that again..but i have a feeling that i might have to...v_v i would rather kill myself then do something that again. i never want to do something so wrong and cruel again. i just want that person to be happy again. i hope i havent totally screwed up their whole lives now...i would cry even more if i did. i feel so bad. i want to talk to that person again but i know that they hate me, i would hate me too. i already do hate me. so there. that settles it! i want to talk to them so bad. i care for them so much and the last thing i wanted to do was go and be a backstabbing b***h. if some people knew what i did...then...everybody would hate me. and never want to talk to me again. and i dont blame them. i know how that person sees me, and i dont appriciate being veiwed that way..because that is exactly the sort of person i wanted to avoid being. i never ever wanted to stoop that low. i always listened to songs, people, and read stories and i hated the people who did what i did with such a passion. it lit a roaring fire inside of me, and made me that of which is a much better person then i am now. i hope that person will foregive me one day. it doesnt matter how long it takes, i just want to be forgiven. even if it takes their whole lifetime. and if they never do, then i unerstand. but i can always have hope and i can just keep on wishing.
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