once upon a time, there was a lonely boy who desperately needed someone to love. someone to hold hands with on the beach and watch the sunset with. all that this boy ever wanted was someone to kiss...
one night the boy's father decided to surprise his family by buying a computer. he certainly surprised this boy and was praisd every day for it. the boy soon became obsessed with a website called Gaiaonline. the boy me the most wonderful people there.(he didn't really get along with people at his school) the people that he met were really nice and the boy longed to stay there every day.
then on one cold night in January, while he was playing online, a girl came to the same game room as him. the boy,being polite as he is, tried to start a conversation with her. they talked on and on through the night. even now the boy can still remember the things they talked about.this girl made the boy laugh histarically. "she is so funny!" said the boy to himself."i wonder what she looks like." and sure enough the boy found out. she was amazinly beautiful. her eyes shone like crystals and her hair was magnificent."this girl could make an angel jealous,(as if he was religious which he isn't) he thought. "she is so beautiful. i doubt i would ever have a shot with her." but the boy fought against the fear of being let-down, and asked this girl to be his girlfriend.
the boy waited very patiently for her reply. she replied soon enough, but she didn't know whether to say yes or no. she replied with a "maybe". "i need some time to think," she said.the boy waited very, very patiently.(he didn't want to screw this up) but the conversation came up with exchanging phone numbers. the boy was so happy and was very nervous too. they decided to call eachother on Saturday.the boy couldn't wait until then and this was all he could think about. finally the day came but the boy couldn't get through the phone line.(keep in mind=the boy is in missouri and the girl in california-i should of mentioned this earlier in the story)the boy was sincerely sorry and felt awful for it. the girl said it was fine, but she cried because she thought he didn't even try. the boy assured her that he wanted to talk to her(badly) and asked her to call him. she gladly accepted and decided to to call him. the boy answered with a simple hello. the girl started to stutter with nervousness and only could say," this is uh...this is.." the boy laughed quietly to himself and finished her sentence, "kaitlynn." she laughed and said, "yeah." the boy suddenly began shaking. he was extremely nervous. the hand holding the phone was trembling violently. the conversation was a pretty good and calm one but it was drawing to a close and she said, "what do you see us as?" the boy replied, "like a real boyfriend and girlfriend." " but i never really answered when you asked me that." the boy was trembling again by this time and started to stutter,"uh..um.."he instantly regretted saying this because he got too caught up with daydreams at school with her saying yes so many times, he thought she actually did. the girl replied, "but... if you ask again,i would say yes." the boy's heart started to beat vigorously. "um...will you?"he said. "yes" she said. this made the hugest smile play across the boy's face.(it was a pleasant surprise from constant apathy) all the boy could say was,"you have no idea how happy you've made me kaitlynn." the boy fell to sleep with a smile on his face.every day after she called him or he called her. the boy was so happy and i didn't seem like he was being followed by a dark cloud all the time. it was the happiest he's ever been in his life nd he told her that quite often. this went on for about a month when she brought up the subject of meeting eachother. the boy was so happy but frustrated that him and her were so far apart. but she said that it is possible to meet for her dad travels in his work alot.her dad said it was alright to meet in a town called Poplar Bluff if he was interested. of course the boy was extemely happy and started talking about it with his father. the father said it was alright and as soon as the boy said yes, the girl screamed with joy,(rather loudly) the boy laughed and was so happy. the boy could tell that she was happy but he couldn't help but think he was happier about it...the boy thought he could never be any happier, but he was.this girl was all that boy could think about. he told her once that he wanted to be with her from the minute she opens her eyes, to the the last minutes she closes them.and the boy meant every word... time passes and its the day before they meet. the boy cannot stop panicking about tommorrow. he doesn't know what he's going to wear,or what he's going to say but his best friend tells him that theres nothing to worry about. if she says she loves you as much as you say she does, then you don't have to worry.this gave the boy much comfort and his friend sent him home with one of his best shirts for the boy.(the boy had nothing formal to wear) he went to bed without much sleep and that night, he had a dream...in the dream it was him and her in a meadow surrounded by tall trees and it was snowing. they were holding hands and everything was fine, but thinks took a turn for the worst and the girl held him close and whispered, "but i am not right for you. not healthy for you.i will always love you, now and forever."she kissed his lips and started to walk away. the boy tried to stop her, to tell her that every thing will be alright if she just stayed...but the boy could not make a sound for he was so struck by knowing she is leaving. all he could do was hold out his hand, fingers pointing toward her trying to somehow halt her. the girl was at the edge of the meadow when she turned to see him one last time. a tear came down across her cheek. then she quickly turned around towards the trees and ran. the boy could not move. it seemed that he was held down by something heavey. and then he was alone in the snow...forever...
the boy awoke in a cold sweat. the dream he had felt so real and he didn't know why he had a nightmare instead of a pleasant dream. he did not go back to sleep in fear of the same dream happening again. at six in the morning, him and his father left for the place the boy and the girl would finally meet.the boy arived first. then the girl arrived soon after. the boy could feel her presence in the air. it felt like static electricity. the boy and his father came to the building where they will lay eyes on eachother for the first time. the boy's heart was pounding a thousand times a second. then his father's phone rang. it was her. the boy asked, "where are you?" she replied,"look in front of you."the boy's eyes opened wide as he gazed upon the most beautiful face in the crowd. she was in an all white dress and looked unbelievably beautiful. they walked up to eachother and all they could say was a simple "hi" the boy wasn't sure what to do, being their first time seeing eachother. to his surprise, she kissed his cheek. the boy couldnot believe what had just happened and thought it was a dream. he put his arms around he and held her hands in his. she traced the blue veins on the top of his hand with such tenderness. the happiest moment passed by so fast. by tthe time it was over, the boy was troubled at thinking the thought of goodbye. but she and her father invited them to go to the hotel they were staying at. the boy gladly accepted and off they went.
when they got there, her father thought it would be a good idea to gice them some time alone. the boy and the girl went to the lobby and found a big chair to sit in. the boy felt so happy with her at his side and never wished to leave her. silence soon came over them. the girl broke the silence by saying, "you know, its easier if the guy makes the first move." the boy agreed and put his arm over her shoulder. she sighed and said, "thats not what i meant." the boy was panicking at this time and didn't know what to do. the girl laughed and said, "here."
she kissed him.
this was by far the happiest the boy has ever been in his life. this was what the boy was looking for all his life. he couldn't believe this was happening. time passed by so fast and before they knew it, and hour had clocked by. their fathers came in to see them on the same chair holding hands. this was the time he had been dreading. it was time to depart. they went to the boy's father's car and said one last goodbye. they hugged eachother with great affection and the boy whispered, "i love you." "i love you too."she said and she turned away still holding his hand until they got too far apart. her fingers slowly slipped away from his and she walked on with him looking back at her.
on the day after, the boy found a note slipped into his present she gave him. "by now we have met and i have given you everything, even my heart." is what it had said. he opened the box containing a silver heart pendant and a necklace. "i never wish to leave you."is what the note said. he was finally happy...
time passes and everything is fine. if anything their love is stronger(or so the boy thinks) on the 7th day after they met, the boy was panicking. he got a message from the girl of his dreams saying that she is bad for him. she still loves him but thinks that if she left him, the boy wouldn't know what to do. she even said she wouldn't leave him. the boy was so stricken by this. he tried to tell her that she is thinking wrong. she was the best thing that ever happened to the boy. he told her that she was the only thing that made the boy's life worth living.she did not think the same. they message back to eachother and got nowhere until she said, "promise me you wont do anything stupid if this should ever happen." the boy knew that he would break the promise eventually if she left. but she said she wouldn't leave him and said he promised.
the next day- the boy woke early and had the thought of her leaving him in his head. he tried to block it by saying to himself, "she said she wouldn't" a thousand time and it comforted him. until he got a call from the girl he loved. he could tell something was wrong just by hearing the sadness in the first few words."travis, you're a great guy...but..."the boy could not believe it.this was the thing he's always been dreading since the first time he said i love you."i don't know what i'm going to do without you." the boy could only say."yes you can, time heals all wounds."she said. this was more just a wound, this was an amputation of all his limbs. she said, "i'll give you some time to think." and she hung up.the boy was still on the phone, frozen. a tear went down his cheeck. this was the saddest he's ever been and is starting to regret the promise he made.he did'nt know what to do. he feels like a fish without water its so hard to breathe. he starts thinking of thoughts that make his mind go crazy. he pictures her...with another guy...they are holding hands on the beach watching the sunset. what he wouldn't give for that to be him. he was so mad he punched the wall and left a hole above his bed. he wept. he was always brought up not to cry, but this was too devastating. he thought and thought, but he kept coming up with the same thought of him...with her. "that could of been me..." he said to himself."that could of been me. that could of been me!" he shouted in the empty house.
the boy doesn't know what to do. he is so drained of life and keeps thinking how to stop this feeling. the only way he can figure out...is death. the boy considers this thought for a while. if he dies...what will happen? he thinks of his friends. how they would grieve over the loss of his life. it didn't bother him knowing that they would get over it in time. but then he thought of how she would react. the boy threw his head onto the table, blood dripping down from his face. if he dies, then she would think that she is the cause and would have to live with that forever. the boy doesn't want this. he promised himself the day they met, that he would never hurt her. no matter what... he decides not to relinquish himself of this wretched world filled with beauty and loneliness. he has to accept this, but he just can't grasp it. the only thing that holds him down is the promise he made and the thought of hurting her, for he loves her. and always will...
THE END
View User's Journal
i just dont know anymore
User Comments: [2] [add]
|
darth_rinzler Community Member |
User Comments: [2] [add]
Community Member
so im taking it as she broke up with you? im sorry.
hope ya feel better soon! biggrin