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Hate myself
Wish I was dead
Thoughts of suicide
Fill my head

You ask me why
Ya gotta know
I am the lowest
Of the low

Started very long ago
When I was a kid
Things I did
Things I had seen

If I wasn't so stupid
Naive and dumb
He would have never
Done what "he done"

Had so much potential
A genius they said
Blew it all
Wish I was dead

My so called talents
Left unused
Left my family to lament
Indeed-they did muse

Continued on
Til I was grown
Northing but a con
My life I bemoan

Alcohol,
Food, too
The hole I have dug
Engulfs me like goo

My own brother hates me
Don't really know why
Just another reason
I wish I would die

My other brother
You ask
Ha! Failed at that too

Family reunion
Just another thing
I couldn't do

My life is enviable
To those who don't know
My heartache is dull
My own worst foe

Failed as a freind
Failed as a boy friend
You say that's not true
Remember the hate

If it wasn't the truth
My heart wouldn't break

You say that was years ago
He made a mistake
There was a reason
He was such a fake (The reason was ME)

You say I'm too hard on myself
You would be too
If you were so worthless
Fat-Can you say "moo"

Would end it today
But I don't have the nerve
Just another shortcoming
Yeah, gotta keep them at bay

All would be better
If I wasn't here
Except for my doggie
The dearest of dear

(freinds) would be better off
(girlfriends) that's for sure
My worthlessness, my feelings
There isn't a cure

Go through the motions
That's all I can do
Same silly notion
Attempt at a coup

Whatever will happen
God only knows
Wish He would take me
His answer is "no"

I will go to hell
I know that is true
With even that thought
I'm northing but blue

They say it is Satan
Yeah he's got a hold
He and his demons
They're really quote bold

They say I have the answer
If only I seek
Ya don't understand
I'm simply too weak

Physically
Mentally
I'm beat to a pulp
You don't understand
You just simply gulp

You don't want to hear
What I have to say
My thoughts are too queer
Maybe some other day

My dad used to tell me
son, "buck up"
He didn't understand
I'm just f*** up

My parents hate me
I miss their love
If only I helped mom

Eternity is a long time
To live with myself
Hopefully satan
Will take the time

To kill me at last
"open up my wounds"
Please make me dead
Part of Your torcher

Not in my lifetime
Here on the earth
But when I go home to death
Away from this earth