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"It's only fair, since I was offerin'," Liam replied with a smile, as he sauntered across the street to the Golden Ox, Luciano close behind....
A few words, and many drinks later;
“Now mate, tell me what it is exactly that you plan do to with meselff.., hick-up.” Liam asked with a slight slur in his speech and a weave to his posture. Luciano turned to his associate, and opened his mouth to speak, but was rudely interrupted by a loud passerby who drunkenly stumbled into him. Luciano made a dismissive gesture, already correcting his vest in a purely fastidious manner, but Liam paid no heed to his friend, for he was on his feet advancing unto the man who had so rudely blundered into his companion.
“Oi, mate, I believe you owess my friend here an apology.”Liam stated before he gave the man a once over, taking in his fading hairline, and portly mid-section, and allowed himself a smug smile as he slowly crossed his firm forearms; a small display of his assertion.
“What’d you say, you want me to apologize, to what? ..your lover-boy over there?” The obtuse man laughed out loud, a harsh and crude sound, accompanied by a ominous chuckle from his small group of various companions.
“Hey, doesn’t matter WHAT he is, you still owe him an apology ya bloody arse!” Anger permeated Liam’s features, his hands were fists clenched at his sides, he no longer stood with an air of relaxation, now he was a lion tensed and ready to pounce.
“I don’t owe him s**t!” Replied the crude man. Liam refused to waste his breathe with a retort, preferring to reply with his fist, which neatly collided with the antagonist’s face. All hell broke loose, soon Liam found himself surrounded by the friends of the man he had attacked. He held his own though, and luck proved to be on his side as the entire bar was thrown into the tumult, which otherwise engaged his direct assailants.

“Ey! Watch it watch it! Ya bloody gavone!” Luciano scoffed as Liam hurled his fist into the other mans nose. Soon enough, all hell had broken loose, and the mafioso was thrown into the middle. Because of those damned young turks, his new three piece suit was getting wrinkled as he threw his own fists into those who attacked him first. He cursed his Australian comrade, the next thing he knew, someone had smashed something into the back of his head, and whisky was dripping down his temples and forehead, and everything went black.

"Heerrees to Lusianoooee..., he's a true blue,
He's a piss*hick*-pot, throoughh and throoough," Liam sang heartily, if not entirely lucidly, sitting next to Luciano's prone form. Liam's deep voice reverberated throughout the dim and dingy jail cell, accompanied by the groans and moans of his neighbors, who failed to share his delight in song.
"He's a basstardd, soo they saaayyy.., Oi, and look now he's awake!" Liam leaned over his friends furrowed features, lightly tapping the side of his face, ignoring his protesting moans.
"C'mon chap, you'se slept long enuff." The drunken blonde continued to pester his friend until the Italian batted his unsteady hand away.

Luciano opened his eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the light and the ache in his skull. “What the hell? Ah! We’re in the joint. I can’t believe ya got me pinched, babbo,” he sneered as he pushed himself up and paced around the room. He cuffed Liam in the jaw, then quickly adjusted the sleeves of his now dusty suit. “I’m really gunna pop ya’ after this, Australia, just you wait.” He laughed to himself, and tucked his hand behind his back, then walked up to the bars to get a better view. “No doubt its full’a meat eaters...no doubt.”

“I dunno ‘bout any damned cannibals...”Liam replied to Luciano’s statement, coming to stand uneasily beside him at the bars, “but I do know a few of these blokes, been here a couple of times ya see.” He finished his sentence with a wink and a nudge, chuckling to himself at his cleverness. Luciano maintained his constant smirk, though humor was one of the last things on his mind, Liam, however found some kind of perpetual joy in his burdensomeness and gazed off into the distance with a goofy grin.
“Oi, Charlie! Charlie, over here mate!” Liam suddenly burst to life, eagerly calling to a rather surprised police officer, who warily approached the bars to Liam’s and Luciano’s cell.
“Charlie, mate! How be your way in this world of ours? Still with that bloke I saw you with last week, hmm?” Liam hinted heavily, his drunken stupor emphasizing his point unnecessarily. Charlie paled, and frantically began gesturing for Liam to be quiet, as he anxiously looked over his shoulder, fearful that one of his distant comrades may have overheard Liam’s inebriated inference.
“Oh, c’mon Charlie, nothin’ to be ‘shamed of, *hick* just a lil’ manly love is all. Why I could tell you...” The bold Aussie began to drift into an exaggerated narrative, but was quickly cut off by a very red-faced officer.
“Li-Liam! Shhh... the other officers don’t need to hear about this, could you PLEASE keep your damned mouth shut!” Charlie nervously cut Liam off.
“Now, now mate, dishonesty amid the force tain’t the best way to go about bonding with comrades. I think its ‘bout time you ‘fessed up. Oi, Mates...” Liam began to call over Charlie’s companions.
“HOLD UP! Liam c’mon man, let me work this out ok? Hey, to err.. Thank you for your.. Insight, let me do something for you.” Charlie desperately attempted to appease the incensed Aussie.
“Well, now mate, I’m only doin’ this wiff you in mind, but if you could do me an’ my friend here a favor, we’d love t’not haff to spend the night in this cell.” Charlie pondered Liam’s words, possibility alighting in his eyes when he noticed that the other rowdy gentlemen from the Golden Ox were being bailed out of the other side of the jail.
“And... you’d be doing me friend a kindness if ya would leave it off his record, hmm... cuz I’m to be held entirely at fault.” Liam was now beaming his most persuasive, if not a bit bleary, smile. Charlie contemplated his options for a second... then he gave Liam a firm gaze;
“Hey, not a word to anybody?”
“I won’t tell a soul.” Liam replied, his expression as sober as possible.
“Well then, I guess your comrades over there,” Charlie nodded to the Liam and Luciano’s antagonists, “were kind enough to post your bail as well as yours.” Liam's face burst into a beaming smile.
“Thank’ee, mate!”
Luciano arched his sleek black eyebrows at Liam’s success, completely surprised at the fact a drunk had managed to talk his way out of jail. He nodded politely and professionally to the cop who had just set them free in fear of being exposed, and glided out of the cell, tipping his fedora with a devious smirk at the ones who had gotten him in jail along with them.
"Oi, we'll just quietly slip by these blokes and be on our way." Liam leaned towards Luciano whispering into his ear. Luciano glanced at Liam, nodding slightly in acknowledgment. Escaping was easy, there rowdy group of ‘friends' were either too unfamiliar or too bleary eyed to notice their extra companions. Luciano and Liam were free and back on the streets in no time, the dark night air was cool and crisp, the breeze was a welcome relief from their stuffy cell.
"‘Ey mate, it's gettin' kinda late, and seein' as I've put you out of sorts, why don't I offer you a place to sleep? I've got a nice shack down a ways here, you could stay there for the night." Liam offered Luciano, the cool air cleared Liam's senses some, his voice and gait were much more stable than before. The chilly air bit through Liam's thin collar shirt, he crossed his vigorous forearms and patiently waited for Luciano's reply.
“Eh, dat would be fine, Austrah-liah,” Luciano answered, gazing over Liam’s shoulder, “now, if you would escuse me, I need ta’ talk to mi compare.” The Italian smiled apologetically and walked around him, over to where a man in a three piece suit, similar to Luciano’s, was standing.
“Whuddy’a doin?” The man hissed to Luciano, his tone to low for Liam to hear, “chou gotta‘ con-tract! Ice ’im already!”
“I know I know, I’m cleanin’, I’ll get to it, jus’ wait,” Luciano hissed in reply, glancing over his shoulder briefly, then turning back to the other mafioso, “Imma’ clock ’im a bit, den I’ll ice’im. Good?” The other man frowned and also glanced at Liam, before answering. “Awright, awright, jes’ make it soon, g’appeesh? Or else d‘ boss would ‘ave a fit!”
“Awright, get a place ready,” the tall italian replied with a wink, before waving the other away and returning to Liam’s side. “Mi scusi, I had a bitt’a bizness ta take care of.”
"Oi, you seem as busy as a one legged bloke at an arse kickin' contest." Liam retorted, chuckling at his comic relief.
"If your as knackered as I am, then you won't if we just move on to our Matilda's then, will ya'?" The Aussie questioned, a yawn escaping from his massive jaw.

Luciano stared, smiling stupidly, at the strange Australian, and asked casually: “What?”
“Liam, your house reeks of....ah! koala,” Luciano smiled, nodding to the stuffed koala sitting on a table. He tapped it gently, then set about to study the rest of the room. “Your house, is...” he shrugged and turned to Liam, “cheap. I dun‘wanna sleep in the same room as that,” the Italian jabbed a finger at the stuffed bear, then looped his thumb in his belt. “Imma’ take your bed, a’ight? You don't really have a say, I mean. I'm just takin’ it. Kapeesh? Ah...mi comare will be missing me tonight...” Luciano let out a sigh, and took his fedora off, holding it to his chest in mock sadness.
"Oi, mate, of course I'll lend you my bed.." Liam said, a large smile spreading across his face as he leaned in to finish his sentence, "that is, if you don't mind me bein' in there with ya, hmmm?" The bronze Aussie raised his brows suggestively. The Italian leaned back, uncomfortable with the Australian's suggestions and proximity.
"Oh, c'mon Luciano, I'm your friend aren't I? Why can't we become... closer? " Liam loomed ever nearer, unperturbed by Luciano's obvious aversion.
“Ah, no,” Luciano replied coolly, turning his head away, “just...keep it in your pants, a’ight Austrah-lia?” He gently pushed Liam away and tilted his head at the Aussie and was silent for a moment. “You...must escuse me, though, babbo,” Luciano started again, staring almost coldly at him, “but I gotta bitta bizness ta take care of, y’know?” He pulled a pistol from under his jacket and pointed it at his comrade’s forehead, his smirk turning ever so slightly more sadistic. “It’s just bizness, nothing personal, of course. Da borgata wants you gone so...I gotta ice‘ya,” the mafioso explained with a nonchalant jerk of his shoulder, “its our thing, ya’know? Cosa nostra.”
"Eh? What's this mate?" Liam replied, his easy smirk dissipating into a wary, and questioning frown. "Babbo, me scusi, but you pose... a problem to mi capo. Some ah' ta young turks took up a contract on you'se, and... it's about time for you'se to be ... going." Luciano finished his sentence with a dark emphasis, Liam squared his shoulders at the dreary insinuations.
"Oi, I suppose business is business, right? Well, mate, all I ask is this, let ol' Liam fire off one last toast, does that sound good oh?" Liam negotiated, Luciano passed a wary gaze over Liam, his ever present grin giving him a sadistic appearance. Luciano nodded in assent to Liam's plea, but his gun never wavered from its target. The captive Aussie quietly walked across the cozy living room, towards a half full decanter. He lifted the thick crystal and slowly poured some of its amber liquid into a similar crystal cup conveniently located on the same table as was the decanter. Liam held the cup, with its warm colored liquid, to the lights, his hazel eyes gazing into its depths. "Mate, I've seen many a bottle as this one, but never has it seemed so pretty. Here's to goodbye, here's to the end. Here's to all the good times I've seen, and all life I've lived" Liam turned his steady gaze onto Luciano, a sad twinkle in his eye, "And here's to you my amicable bugalug, thanks for these phenomenal final moments and all that, here's a hooroo to you."
With a final flourish Liam tilted the crystal cup back as the warm amber liquid slowly slipped down his throat. The Aussie finished his drink with a heavy sigh, calmly setting down his cup, and turning his expecting gaze back onto the dark Italian.
Luciano lowered his gun slightly, watching the Australian say his honorable goodbye, then popped the chamber and dropped it onto the coffee table. As if nothing had happened, he sat down on the sofa and grabbed the remote with an almost inaudible “wonder wa’ss on...” as he turned on the TV and began flipping through the channels. “Whaddya normally watch, Liam? I never really watch anything, mah kid brudda always has the TV...”