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Well, here I am several days after the graduation of the 3 biggest people in my life: Katie, Jason and my boy friend, Paul. And the moving of one of my best friends, Brandi...its hard and I cried when my mom said that I couldn't go to commencement because I put friends over family most of the time. But hey, when your extended family did what mine did, yeah, you tend to do that...but anyways. I got to go, because I got a ride home...and because, I think, my mom heard me talking to some of my friends about this whole matter. But I watched everyother student in the Senior class walk around and around in thier cap and gown, along with Brandi, just to see Jason, Katie and Paul. It seemed to go faster than it really did, but, I guess everything went really fast this year...I mean, well, I think it did. But, when I met everyone, at the beginging of the year, that...seems just so far off, like, I've known these guys since, middle school and we've been through everything together. But I guess, in retrospect, we have been through everything together. Weather it is something as small as studying together or something as big as someone dieing or moveing...we've been through it all and just...well...I really don't know what else to put.
I know that graduation is a big thing and usually makes people realize all these things, but, what it made me realize is that next year I'll be a Junior and that leaves only one more year until college. One more year until I leave. One more year until I go out into the world and leave my mark. At the begining of this year, all that seemed so far off, now, its so close, it scares me...but...also, its like a relif of sorts...getting out, making my own way, doing things on my own time...not someone elses...going to college. All these things I've dreamed about since I started high school, I now...don't really know if...I want them to come all that fast. Because...well...I look back, and my childhood seems a blear of motion and it was gone in snap and I don't want the rest of my life to be like that. I want to remember things and not forget them as they blend into one mass thing. But, I also know, that I'll have my friends, because we are all going to be in the same area, about, and that we plan to move in together because we are just that damn close. I don't know, am I scared? Worried? Lost? Confused? Or am I just...Pensive? I don't rightly know, but what I do know is that no matter what happens I can always have my friends to help me along and vise versa with them, because that what friends do, they stay friends through everything.