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Vice-captain log: Aboard the S.S. Dreamboat

Here I am, trying to bide my time until my older brother Enacada and his brute of a first mate comes and forces me out of my quaint little cabin and drags me painfully down into the ballroom to get drunk. I don't really know why he insists on performing these stupid parties; the last one he had was so loud the Navy came and arrested everyone on board. Darn Smoker and his Navy morons! Attacking our ship! Grrr, now I'm mad!!! Great, now that giant who calls himself my big brother is banging on my door. I'm afraid now I have to go off and climb out of my window to avoid Enny's and Nadare's drunken tirade. Goodbye.