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So, I don't know what I was thinking but I was convinced I was only going to use this thing to log my various pets and art.

That's apparently not going to happen.

I've been in and out of the doctor's for some 'womanly' pains and they haven't been able to really figure out what the problem is, or if it's even just one particular problem. I've been on antibiotics, taken estrogen in pill and cream form, and have been given a few strong painkillers. Nothing is really working, if at all.

It was decided yesterday that I needed a few things done.
None of which are too bad, but they're all going down at the same time.

I've never been in surgery before, so this is the first time in my life I'll be drugged to such an extent.
Yes, I delivered my child without the aid of painkillers. Which was a pretty retarded decision on my end.

Anyway, I'm fairly nervous. The idea of going to sleep just fine and then waking up to a gradually increasing pain does not appeal to me. I know they'll give me some strong drugs to help with that, but I'll still phisically feel different than I did going in. That actually scares me to a degree. I shouldn't be rambling in a Gaia journal about this s**t, but the people I live with and my family are sick of hearing about it. I'm sure they are.

I dwell on things though, it's what I do. I'm still dwelling on things I did and didn't do over a year ago.
Which, frankly, needs to stop because I'm starting to have dreams about it and that disturbs me.


...

Yeah. I'm starting to dwell on other things that need to be kept off of the internet now, so... The end.