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Script for OMG GAMES!

Parents (together in monotony): Happy Birthday Twins! You can open your presents now!

Julie: (unwrapping her presents) Sweet! Jewelry! and a platinum card! Thanks mom and dad!

Mom: (coldly) open your present, Tim.

{Tim opens his badly-wrapped gift to find a toy truck}
Tim: OK…. What the crap?

Mom: What were you expecting? An Art-PeeGee? (Intentionally butchering the term RPG)

Julie: (bragging) nice present, Tim!

Tim: Shut up, a**

Julie: Geek

Tim: Don’t make me PWN U, N00BLET!

Mom: PLEASE STOP! You’re the same!
[to dad] Don’t twins have the same thoughts?

Julie: (thinking) Using mom and dad

Tim: (thinking) d00d pwnag3 i5 t3h b357!

Dad: (thinking) being a jackass

Mom: (thinking) hot lesbian Porn

{all heads turn to mom as if they can hear her}

Mom: What?! I’m bi-curious!

Tim: (rolling eyes) Well, as much as I would like to wonder what mom does in her spare time, I’m gonna go before things really get weird.

Dad: What are you going to do with your life, Tim?

Tim: (heatedly) I’m GOING TO LEVEL UP!

{Dad contorts his face like he is ready to cry}

Scene switches to local game store

Tim: Games. Games. Games. Oh my god! Games.

Tim: (on phone to friends) let’s get some games. Let’s get some games. Let’s get some games. Get some games.

Tim: oh my god games. Games. Games. Oh my god games!

Tim: This game rules (points to World of Warcraft)
This game sucks (points to Alien Hominid)
This game rules (points to Halo 2)
This game sucks! (points to Yu-Gi-Oh! Game)
Tim: games. Games. Games. Oh my god games.

Tim: This game rules (points to Gears of War)
This game sucks (points to XIII)
This game sucks (I Love My Katamari)
This GAME SUCKS! (Final Fantasy XI ONLINE)

Sales person 1: I think you have too many games.
Tim: (interjecting) get owned!
SP2: I think you have too many games
Tim: get owned!
SP3: I think you have too many games
Tim: GET OWNED!!

Tim: (holding SP3 on ground with foot) R-Tard n00b

R-Tard n00b,

Tim : (on cell calling friends) lets get some games, lets get some games, lets get some games. LETS LAN PARTY!

Tim: PS3 is 500 dollars
Ps3 is 500 dollars
Ps3 is 500 ******** dollars
Lets buy it!

SP4 : I don’t think that this game will work.. I mean, your console is… kinda last gen.

Tim: oh…. Oh….. oh……oh….. by the way, N00b, ******** you!! ******** You!!! ******** YOU!

(Tim and company are blindly pushing buttons on XBOX 360 controller with lights flashing on their faces while music plays)

{Various scenes from awesome games play and characters dressed like Zelda fight with cardboard swords, light sabers, and fake guns}