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Cruel life...
This pain is righteous in some ways
Other ways its unbearable.
I try so hard to be strong
But i fail.
These black clouds always seem to hover over me.
Continuing their decent.
They always haunt me.
This abusive life is not one for me.
And when i do cry for my savior he is not there.
And my savior is not the same as yours.
My savior is the one who has forsaken me.
He is the reason my life is in turmoil.
I do not speak of jesus.
But someone far crueler.
He broke this home
He broke this life i yerned for.
He too is false hope.
But false hope feels better than no hope.
But when i feel my own righteous pain.
I float away
I become a bird.
A bird of 99 feathers flying away from it all
And i smile.
A sinful smile full of Deciet
And Agony
and Suffering.
THis SMile is not real.
THis smile is nothing more than a facial expression.
I feel so empty after i get my own righteous pain.
My own righteous pain that i yern for.
I get this satisfaction that is mine.
Its mine to indulge.
And as i use this satisfaction to feel better.
The postlude of this time of pain is always the best.
For i can feel the happiness corsing through my veins...
For one day...
than two....
Than three...
By the forth day it fades away.
I cry for it more but i tell myself no.
I will get consumed by it.
But i want it.
SO badly do i yern.
This Razor seems to be my only savior now
This blood seems to be my only wine
This life seems to be eternal...
This life feels so eternal...
When will it end?