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You run your fingers across the spines of the various tomes in Fuhnetiks Study. A bright green one pulls your interest and you pull it down. It has the date "Nov 02, 2006" written in hand across the top. In bold letters it reads:

The Alien Invader Appendix

Ever since the Zurg have attacked Aliens have appeared everywhere, but they returned to the mothership shortly after their initial appearance. This research log will aim to fulfill any knowledge of the Zurg that might be lost as newer incidents occur on Gaia.

Quotes:

Evolution has been particularly unkind to you, you brutish primates!

Ha! The external genitals of your males are pathetically large! Bow before our tiny, miniscule characteristics!

Human "heavy metal" makes me laugh. There is nothing heavier than Zurgian Ultra-Death Metal.. Even Jukk'lactah (a popular composer of children's lullabies) makes your heaviest of metal sound like purring kittens in comparison.

Your flimsy orifices are hardly worthy of probing!

Try the tasty and refreshing Zurg Energy Drink- now on sale at a store near you!

How can you see out of your horrible, tiny eyes!?

We demand to speak with your elders at your sacred Sungl***es Hut!

Please send us forget-me-nots!

Submit to us now, and get your own customized pet bowl!

Take us to your Lanzer, Gaian!

Your pathetic species doesn't even have gizzards!? How do you digest rocks?

You call that a cloaca!?

I got a pet bowl with your name on it!

Don't let the floor hatch hit you on the way out!

Is that a Double-revolving Zarblecramper in your pocket or are you just happy to see us?

Bow before the Zurg, you fat, squealing ape larvae!

Scanning human brains for knowledge is like an Anthrakian swamp weasel trying to mate with a Hultarian trogg... pointless!

Your tiny pink heads amuse us, Gaian vermin!

There's only one good thing about your silly little planet: the bovines.

Humans are the n00bs of the galaxy. All advanced races laugh at your primitive ape "civilization".

If only you stop would bumping threads, we might consider you intelligent beings

Submit to Zurg nce or face undesirable consequences!

Who's your daddy!? That's right, Zurg's your daddy!

A/S/L? Me, I'm 238/Type1/Hovering 20ft above you <3

While you inefficient Gaians waste your lives on Internet message boards, we superior Zurgs waste our lives on Internet message boards ten times faster!

Harmony through unity.

We're questing for a planet, mind donating?

How does your pathetic species even tell its males from its females?

Nice planet, wanna probe?

You've never blown up a cow telepathically before? You're missing out!

Consider yourselves pwnd 19 ways to Zurg and back!

Ha! Your speech is like the braying of Zurg megadonkeys!

What? Your pathetic society still has not conformed to the intergalactic silver jumpsuit standard?

Ha ha ha, you guys are still carbon-based? That's so 1982.

You reproduce how?! Filthy humans... DNA at each other...

Your planet now belongs to us. Please vacate in an orderly manner.

Go suckle your young at your leathery teats, disgusting mammals!