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Painful Raindrops and Loneliness on My Calendar
"Painful Raindrops and Loneliness on My Calendar"
(Hope you guys know I was an idiot and while typing my sneakers got caught in the keyboard cord then the window of my entry closed and got deleted. So hopefully the poem will be just as good this time though it took me a while.)
(In other news, today was okay I suppose. mother went to NYC, brothers were working and I was babysitting the house. Took pics, ate ice cream, watched the rain fall and Jessica E brought like Tom, Jason and this girl also in the school band with me to my house for a few minutes and I fed them some posicles, talked to them a bit and bidded the 'buh-byes'. Yeah, heard Dave's garage party sucked which is why they came to my house; I should've went with them.)
"I suppose now I can say that this ignorance is truely bliss, and wonder if you feel the same. And through it all I'm starting to think, maybe we're all to blame. So stare at me some more and know I can't feel much pain, knowing you're filling my emptiness up, into this plastic cup, of pain and shame, driving me insane babe. I'm willing to know that I can do it myself, that I won't have to keep counting on you to lend me some help. I'm aware that your arms were once my home,but after all that..you've left me alone.
It's time to give up on me if you don't wanna try, to try to keep going with the fact that your're mine. You're not, so quit it, you're not right there so stop. I would ask and say, "thank you", but defitnetly not. Don't expect more words to spill from my lips today, and don't expect more of my timid stares to keep you in the way. And I'm dying in these traumatic entireties, all that keeps me going in this anxiety.
I'm having trouble sleeping through those silent nights, and waking up in those good sweet mornings. Remember that smile in the morning from me, that sweet little smile, 'cuz it won't be there, it won't be back. Keep wishing on those stars for me to feel the pain you give, and keep thinking that I don't deserve to live. You just don't understand how it feels toexperience how everything is when everything takes its toll, on the life, on the accounts of an empty soul."
Some pics of me today, skirt and all.    Curls..evil.In my opinion. There are more pics in a album on my person PB. Nothing really, but if you wanna see it, just ask. ~Sweetness and much <3
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