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Endless Rant
Why do you want to read about my bitching? Are you high?
Destruction: Final Revelation?
Dearest appologies for not replying in an orderly fashion. For you see, I have just recently escaped that wretched refrigerator I had been trapped in for O so long. The story continues.

It seems that the Beaver have lost... Or have they? Once again, the Squirrel home world Wobbledewizoo is returning to Earth from it's 825846734965235782569854.964 minute orbit. Now everyone knows of the fatal impact 65,000,000 years ago that destroyed all the cheese sandwhiches of the world, but little do they know, it wasn't a meteor that caused it. Infact, it was the Beaver homeworld of Gobbletygook. The day our Squirrelly leader's, Chip Nutwalker's, Arch nemesis Darth Nyick-Nyak appeared on Earth. They did battle, and fall with them did the chimps. Death ensued.

Enough with this historical wish-wash. It is time, now, for your warning. Come the eighth of Dunchawktoo, 9002582589.697ArK52 in Squirrel years, Which happens to be the day before the day after the first dawn of yesterday's evening, and then twenty minutes after that, and a day and two seconds later, the final Revelation would occurr. The Revelation forecasted in not the Old Testament, Not the Dead Sea Scrolls, not even the Pork of Jebbadiah's stomach forecasted it. But the planet of Gobbletygook is going to return. Once again, the world with rid itself of cheese sandwhiches.


Two days ago, I did battle with a black-haired red-eyed man, with a strange fetish for Maids. Quite funny, really. Seeing as I too have a strange fetish for maids. A shame. We had to kill each other. I'm not sure how it happened, but after I slammed his head into a rock, and he slammed my head into the same rock, only on the second Tuesday of last week, we were resurrected. Pah! That fool laughed, and said "We aren't dead, we just got knocked out!" I had to run away, and live off of the lam for three minutes. Bloody fools. I managed to steal his purple pimp hat, though. I don't think he suspects it. Uh oh, he's coming, and he has a pitchfork... And a viking helmet... And now I leave you with these wise words....

Make Mahoromatic Love with me, for my head is Haaaaard as a Rock! HAAAARD AS A ROCK! Well it's harder than a rock! Haaard as a rock! Well it's harder than a rock!

And thus, headbanging ensued. This is the partially retarded man who likes to believe he is a squirrel, with an apparent fetish for maids.... Haaard as a Rock~!





 
 
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