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It isn't fun to argue with yourself and find no answers. I keep trying to forget bad things, but it's not helping me. I still have those tendencies from back then. And the twinges of hurt are constant reminders. Every time I go outside, I see something that triggers a distant memory, buried deep beneath the blankets of pain that life has piled onto it. It doesn't keep them away though. They just find a way to seep through and attack me. Each time, it gets worse. You'd think I don’t have any problems since I volunteer at a hospital right? Wrong. That's why I won't see a doctor about it, about anything. Because I'm scared. I see what happens behind those doors all the time. I see people crying and screaming in pain because one little thing was a tad-bit askew. What if that was me? I don't want to be hurt like that.