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This is my poem folder entry for my poems concerning heartache, lies, lost loves, as well as poems of me on my way to attaining love. I know some of my poems fall into several categories, so there may be several of these following poem entries that are also in other categories. If you wish to give advice or criticism, you can email me at hydrocannibus2005@yahoo.com

-All poems are original works of Nicholas Farnham-

Entry 1: Heartbreak, My First Lover

Hah! You said you’d never leave me, because I’d die if you did,
Well, look what you did, Do you expect me to live?
According to this narrator, you still want to be friends?
I don’t understand that, and I didn’t understand it then,
Cause all you cause in my soul was heartache,
Gave me an addiction to drugs that took 4 years to break,
Most of this garbage that I write,
That these hyped up readers seem to like,
It’s mostly about you, and what you did,
You hurt me more than any bruise, or scars, or slits,
Most of my audience, probably wonders, me, how could leave it,
All of my friends said, it’s love, so stay persistent,
If I stay around this rotting town, I’m bound to break resistance,
I still love you, but curse you, for defining my existence!

Ever since I was a young lad,
Growing up with my mother, never knew my dad,
I decided to study my mom, and digest her pain,
So at least she was at peace, and I was given the shame,
I traveled this world, like sound across the air,
Hoping someone could make my life seem fair,
I don’t care about the rest, cause now I’m stuck,
They can peel the pieces of me off the grill of this truck,
How dare she speak of love when she’d hold my hand,
I fell behind to let her catch up, I played as a slower man,
I want to stand on top of this mountain and yell,
I want to wake up and break up this lake of hell,
I feel like a sucker for letting the b***h twist me up,
I felt lost, and like a child, on my thumb I suck,
I’m on a new mission, maybe to keep it bitter,
Getting in a million memories just to forget her,
The difficulty in keeping emotions controlled,
As much as I want to forget her,
I think that I hunger to be nurtured,
I kind of want to find her and take it further,
Even if the heartache bounds me to smother ,
Now I know how to read those eyes and the look on her face,
The smile that glows and the tears all are fake,
How dare you then leave me, and saying you never needed me,
I wanna hate you, but without you, I’ll never be free…

I really want to say the truth of what I feel,
And have a hope to catch something real,
Because some where, for some reason, I still love you,
No, No, I’m not ok, it’s not rational, but what else can I do?

Like everyone, I had my first love. It turned out to also be my first heartbreak. It taught me a valuable lesson in the life of love. Never trust someone fully until you know you can.