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Finally....summer vacation. |
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omfg... so tired and so exhausted.
Finals seemed easy enough, but when I got home, I found they were draining... stupid education leeches in disguise of scantrons and bubble sheets! -whine, cry, dies-
Well, the thing is, is that its the end of the year, the last day of school and so on and so forth. But I didn't feel anything. No "Thank god its the last day" or "Yay! I'm a Junior!" or anything at all. I still felt that I had to come the next day to continue classes and work. Eh, it was explained to me as, "You've been under too much stress, so you've been expecting too much." n so on and so forth.
Granted, I'm happy its the end and all, but why I'm still stressing is that I still need to find boots and a wig to complete my cosplay, re-do my book I was currently finishing for my brother got to it, so I have to buy another one and design all over again, and the fact that my grades determine what I do the end of June. Its the stupid 3.5 rule. "I have to get a 3.5 gpa in order to go to the Expo." My dad promised that he would cover all expenses: tickets, stay, food, travel and what not and give me $200 on top of that for spending. I'm just happy I just get to go. If I don't get a 3.5 gpa or higher, then I can't go, whether or not I have the money to go. It sucks. T-T
Eh, the late nights probably have taken a toll on me too. And it wasn't until I got sick the weekend before the last day of school that I had the best nap in my life. 5 hours of straight sleep, from 11am to 3pm. It was nice and I got better quickly.
And the fact that I still have some minor things to do with my cosplay costume doesn't help. I feel like I'm still in school for I still have to organize what I need to do before the Expo, which is the frikken deadline. Hopefully July will be better. I'll be bored then and I can sleep til the 12 of forever and whatnot.
Eh, family life is here and there. We now have special weekends. Every weekend, the parent switches off with the other and spends time with the kids. Court ordered. Lovely. So one weekend we spend with mom and the next we spend with dad and the proccess repeats and whatnot. I don't particularly care, but I like spending my weekends with my dad for he actually does stuff with us. Mom does some random thing with us or nothing at all. Yet she loves to yell and complain about "Oh, its my weekend with the kids...." and whatever crap that comes out of her mouth.
I've stopped being dependent on my mom. I don't really go to her anymore, only for things that I need, but other than that, nothing. Absolutly nothing. -sigh- She said that we were going to work on my cosplay costume together. So we got the pants done one weekend, or a good part of it. Then after that, it fell apart and mom always found something else to do other than work on my costume. It wasn't until I went to my great grandmothers on the weekend of the 10th of June that we got nearly everything done, in what shouldn't have taken 2 months... So my mom didn't really do anything other than buy the materials. I hate this. She loves to stay out late, and I've stopped asking her where she goes for she gets all defensive and pissy or we don't get the truth from her. She tells a different lie to different people. Like she'll tell me one thing, my sister another, and my grandmother and father something else, and when we all say where's she's going or what she's doing, its like "Wait, I thought....." and nowadays the phrase promptly ends with "....Nevermind." She rather go out than stay home and do things. That and tension rises when my dad and mom are in the same room. It sucks. So I stay confined to my room and do my own thing. I've pretty much stopped caring what my mom does anymore.
Heh, the counseling that my dad put us in, I don't see how it helps, other than telling the nice lady what's been going on in the house and whatnot, and how we feel about this and that, and what we would change, and blah blah blah... I need results. I really hate the fact that this has happened in the first place and I always go back to thinking how it all went wrong. I know it has nothing to do with me, but it effects everyone. Heh, so far, my dad has custody of me and my siblings and mom is trying to take dad back to court to try and get us. The thing is, if she wants to have us so much, why isn't she proving that she does? The partying and the late nights don't tell us anything that she wants to have us. I don't want to go under her custody for I would be stuck driving my sister and brother to school, and taking care of them when we get home while she goes out and screws around with her other boyfriends.
argh! -mutter, angst-
-sigh-
Well, I've pretty much have my mind set this June. I have my list of things to do and I have a week and a half to do it before the Expo. I'm going to El Paso, Texas and to visit family for the 4th of July, where the fireworks are legal, or just more legal than the ones in California. Last time we went, we had so many fireworks, we ran out of matches first. We had to use the sparklers to light them, and the sparklers went out pretty fast. But it was a lot of fun. I hope to see my aunt and everyone else. I haven't seen them in ages. Not too crazy about the 12 hour drive there, but it's the fun I'll be looking forward to.
Eh, my room looks like several hurricanes, typhoons, and tornadoes went through it. I have a lot of work to do. It fell apart after January 1st semester finals. After that, I've just been too busy with second semester. I'm gonna take two days out of summer just to clean it. 1 day for my shelves, and the other for under my bed and the closet. That way I will feel much better in a clean room that I can relax/pass out/die in.
Well, now I can breathe a little easier, now that I've gotten a huge chunk of information out of my head. I still have more, but I don't feel like typing anymore, and I just want to relax on the couch and watch a movie. With a bowl of grapes and a glass of orange juice. Don't ask me why, but if I want to gorge on food, I rather it be somewhat healthy. Better than a quart of icecream I say and having to worry about finding some way to excercise it off. Eh, swimming would do the trick. Its gonna be 90s - 100s for the rest of the summer anyway.
And another happy little matter is what am I going to do for my 16th birthday. I have no clue what so ever of what I want and I'm running out of time. I need ideas. If I have too many people come over, then we have to move the party or whatnot away from home and somewhere else. I dunno. I'm lost. I can never come up with things like this on my own and I can't choose between two things to save my life. Anyone with any ideas please help. I'm starting to get desperate here.... eh.
Well, until next time, or whenever I need to dump my mind of countless thoughts and other random information.
Mata ne.
roy_leingod · Thu Jun 21, 2007 @ 05:06am · 2 Comments |
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