Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

part one

MY LIFE STARTED OUT OK, BUT WHEN I STARTED GOING TO SCHOOL I GOT MADE FUN OF AND I LOST MY TEMPER AND YOU KNOW WHAT I DID NOT UNDERSTAND ANGER WHEN I STARTED SCHOOL, BUT THERE WERE 5 OR 6 PEOPLE WHO ACCUALLY UNDERSTOOD ME.

IT STARTED OUT IN PREKINDERGARDEN I HAD NO FRIENDS AND ONLY ONE KID TOOK THE TIME TO NOTECE ME AND YOU KNOW WHAT IT ENDED UP IN US BEING FRIENDS AND HIS NAME IS JOHN TERMANY OR AS I LIKE TO CALL HIM JJ WE HAVE BEEN BEST FRIENDS SINCE WE MET AND HE UNDERSTOOD ME.

NEXT CAME THE REAL SURPPRISE MY DAD TOLD ME THAT HE HAS ADHD AND HE TOLD ME HOW TO TRY TO DEAL WITH MY BAD TEMPER AND HE STARTES TEACHING ME ABOUT THE ADDVANTAGES AND DISADDVANTAGES OF HAVING ADHD FIRST HE SAID THAT I HAVE A LOT MORE ENERGY THAN MOST KIDS AND THEN HE TOLD ME THAT ONE OF THE BIGGER PROBLEMS OF HAVING ADHD IS THAT YOU HAVE A SHORT FUSE UNTILL YOU LEARN HOW TO CONTROLE IT AND YOU KNOW WHAT I STARTED DOING THAT ON MY OWN AND I GOT BETTER AT HANDLEING INSULTS.

THE NEXT SURPRISE WAS THAT MY 5TH GRADE TEACHER MR. LYDON TOLD ME HAD ADHD TO AND THAT HE LEARNED HOW TO CONTROLE WITH OUT HIS PILLES AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HE TOLD ME TO JUST BELEAVE THAT YOU CAN CONTROLE WITH OUT YOUR PILLES AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE WAS RIGHT AND THEN HE STARTED GIVING ME TIPS AND SUGESTIONS ON HOW TO HANDLE MY TEMPER AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HE EVEN TRY HELPING ME UNDERSTAND MYSELF A LITTLE MORE JUST LIKE MY FATHER DID AND YOU KNOW WHAT THANX TO MY BEST FRIEND JJ WHO TOUGHT ME HOW TO HAVE A GOOD TIME, HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS IN EVEN THE HARDEST PARTS TO GET PAST OF BEING A FRIEND, AND HE TOUGHT ME THE TURE MEENING OF FRIENDSHIP AND YOU KNOW WHAT I STILL CALL HIM TO THIS DAY EVEN THOUGH I MOVED ME AND HIM KEEP IN TOUCH I CALL HIM AND HE EMAILS ME AND WE STILL TALK AND GOFF AROUND AND THAT IS A TURE AND GREAT FRIEND.ALSO THANX TO MY DAD WHO MADE ME UNDERSTAND MYSELF ANOUGH TO HANDLE MY TEMER AND IT HELPED ME A LOT HE ALSO TOUGHT ME ABOUT ADHD KIDS AND ADULTS AND I UNDERSTAND MYSELF MORE THAN I DID THEN AND IT FEELS SO GOOD TO UNDERSTAND MYSELF MORE NOW. AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST THANXX TO MY 5TH GRADE TEACHER MR. LYDON FOR GIVEING ME TIPS, HELPING DEAL WITH MY EXTRA ENERGY THAT I HAD AND HE ACCUALLY TRYED TO WORK WITH ME UNLIKE SOME OF MY OTHER TEACHERS WHO WERE RUDE AND DID NOT TRY TO TAKE THE TIME TO UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL HE DID SOMUCH TO HELP ME HE UNDERSTOOD ME AS MUCH AS JJ AND MY DAD AND HE GAVE ME THE CORUAGE TO TRY TO CONTROLE WITH OUT MY PILLES OR WHEN I DID NOT HAVE MY PILLES AND HE ALSO HAD FATH IN ME THAT I WOULD GET SO FAR AND DO SO WELL IN SCHOOL AND YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING JUST THAT AND HE ALSO TOUGHT ME HOW TO DEAL WITH MY TEMPER AT SCHOOL AND IN A VERY GOOD WAY TOO. THANX TO JJ MY FATHER AND MR. LYDON WHO ALL MADE ME FEEL LIKE AA ACCUALLY PERSON NOT A PEACE OF TRASH LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DID AND BEFORE I MET JJ OR KNEW ABOUT MY DAD HAVING ADHD OR BEFORE I MET MR. LYDON I FELT LIKE A PEACE OF TRASH AND NOT LIKE A PERSON I FELT HATED LIKE I DID NOT WANT TO LIVE AT ALL AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY MADE ME FEEL SOMUCH BETTER ABOUT MYSELF THEY MADE ME FEEL LIKE A PERSON NOT LIKE TRASH AND THEY DID NOT MAKE ME FEEL UNHUMAN AT ALL THEY ACCUALLY HELPED ME UNDERSTAND MYSELF MORE THAN I KNOW TODAY.
I HAVE MADE SUCH A CHANGE IN MY LIFE BECAUSE OF THEM AND YOU KNOW WHAT JJ AND MR. LYDON ARE TURE FRIENDS UNTILL YOU KNOW HOW I FELT KNOWING THEM YOU DONT KNOW WHAT A TURE FRIEND IS AT ALL AND DONT TAKE THE CRAP AND REACT TO THE KIDS JUST ECCNORE THEM.
THANX TO MY DAD, JJ, AND MR. LYDON I HAVE GONE SO FAR IN SCHOOL AND MADE A LOT OF ACHEAVMENTS IN MY FEW MONTHS IN COLORADO SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME.



part two



I HATE MOST OF THE KIDS IN MY SCHOOL ALL THEY EVER DO IS PICK ON ME, INSULT ME, THEY TELL ME THAT EVERYONE ELSE WOULD BE HAPPYER IF I JUST JUMPED OUT OF THE SCHOOL WINDOW, AND THEY PISS ME OFF AND I JUST WANT TO KICK THEIR ASSES AND THE DAY THEY GET THEIR ASSES KICKED BY SOMEONE STRONGER THAN THEM I WILL LAUGH AT THERE PAIN, TEARS, THEIR STUPIDITY, AND I WILL ALSO LAUGH AT WHAT THEY USED TO BELEAVE THAT THEY COULD HURT ANYONE AND EVERYONE AND I WILL LAUGH AT THEIR DEATHS TO.

part three


YOU KNOW I DONT KNOW WHY, BUT I GET THE SNEAKY SUSPISHON THAT PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO LIKE ME A LITTLE MORE OR ATLEAST SOME I DONT CARE I DONT NEED FRIENDS TO HAVE THE WILL TO LIVE I JUST NEED MYSELF TO HAVE THE WILL TO LIVE YOU SEE WITH MOST PEOPLE WHO DONT TRUST THEMSELFS THEY NEED FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO KEEP THE WILL TO LIVE, BUT ME I DONT I TRUST MYSELF MORE THAN I LIKE TO BELEAVE OR TO TELL ANYONE THAT AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MAY HAVE WROTE ABOUT THE WILL TO LIVE I FORGOT TO MENCHIN ONE THING THAT I WANTED EVERYONE ELSE WHO READ IT TO FIGURE OUT ON THEIR OWN AND THAT WAS YOU DONT HAVE TO HAVE FAMILY OR FRIENDS TO HAVE A WILL TO LIVE ALL YOU REALY NEED IS TO BEABLE TO TRUST YOURSELF MORE THAN YOU KNOW, WANT TO KNOW, OR MORE THAN YOU WANT ANYONE TO KNOW ABOUT AND THAT IS WHAT YOU HAD TO FIGURE OUT IS IF YOU DONT HAVE FAMILY, FRIENDS, OR ANOUGH TRUST IN YOURSELF THEN THERE JUST MAY NOT BE A WILL TO LIVE IN YOU AT ALL AND IF THERE IS THAN YOU ARE A SPAICAL PERSON WHO IS PROBALLY HOPING ON SOMEONE ONE DAY COMING UP AND ASKING YOU IF YOU NEED HELP, A FRIEND, OR A HAND TO HELP YOU THROUGH LIFE SO NOW YOU KNOW THE RIDLLE OF MY LIFE SO FAR PEACE OUT.
OH AND JUST REMEBER THAT WITH OUT FRIENDS, FAMILY, OR ENOUGH TRUST IN YOURSELF THEN YOU MAY NOT HAVE A WILL TO LIVE AT ALL SO JUST REMEBER THE LEASON YOU JUSTED LEARND.

part four


why is it that this life and the next are cruel if you wanna know this then pay attention.

the life is never fair nor nice or even a good one ether
the next life can be good or bad it all depends on how
it ends up and how it is and starts for someone
here let me give you some ideas ok

1. atleast 1/3 of the kids today are or have run away from home do to the problems and others have or tryed to comit suaside and that is what is the unfair
part of life and you know there is the path that takes us were we go and that is destiny and your future is deturmend by how you are as a kid and how you act as a kid and teenager too.
you should know that not all of destiny makes what will happen in your future you make up atleast half of it or atleast 1/4 of it.
destiny is fate and fate is god, us, and destiny.
destiny is what the future is and it is also much much more too.

part five

I DO NOT KNOW ABOUT ANYONE ELSE BUT WHEN YOU UNDERSTAND THE PAIN THAT YOU PUT PEOPLE THROUGH THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE PAIN THAT I HAVE BEEN PUT THROUGH THEN YOU MIGHT HELP BUT THE PROBLEM IS NOT ONLY THE PEOPLES' THOUGHTS BUT THE WAY THEY COME OUT AND THAT IS IT.
MOST PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT KIDS ARE THE CURELEST PEOPLE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT I BELIEVE AT ALL I MEAN I BELIEVE THAT KIDS ARE CUREL BUT THAT IT IS NOT ONLY THE KIDS FAULT BUT ALOS THE PARENTS FAULT BECAUSE THEY SEE THEIR PARENTS FIGHTING AND THE PARENTS WON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THE KIDS AFTER WORDS AND THE KIDS FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE BEEN PUSHED AWAY AND THAT MAKES THEM FEEL BAD BUT THEN IT IS NOT ONLY THE PARENTS BUT THE KIDS THEMSELFS. I SAY THIS BECAUSE THEY KIDS WILL PUSH EACH OTHER AWAY AND FEEL BAD BECAUSE ONE ANOTHER PUSHED EACH OTHER AWAY AND THEY GET TO THE POINT OF NOT CHANGEING AND THEY BRING OTHERS DOWN AND I HAVE GOTTEN TO THIS POINT TRUST ME NEVER DO IT YOU WILL HATE IT I MEAN I AM TREATED LIKE THAT EVERY DAY AT SCHOOL AND EVERY THING AND I HATE IT AND MY BIG SISTER THE ONE I LOOKED UP TO PUSHED ME AWAY AND I FINALLY BROKE DOWN AFTER A WHILE OF TRYING TO HANDLE BEING PUSHED AWAY BY MY SISTER AND BEING TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF TRASH BY THE KIDS AT SCHOOL AND I FINALLY SNAPED AND BECAME WHO I AM TODAY AND I DO NOT LIKE WHO I AM TO THIS DAY AND NO ONE HAS EVER SEEN THE REAL ME SINCE THE DAY I STARTED BOXING IN ALL OF MY EMOTIONS AND I HAVE BOXED IN 3/4 OF ALL MY EMOTIONS MY ENTIRE LIFE.

part six