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One of my friends was killed Friday morning.

He was in the army, over in Iraq.

I know there are stages of facing death, and this is one of them. Denial. This is the first person who was close to me that has died. I can't believe he's gone, even though that's quite a cliche thing to say.

I remember the first time I met him. I was at my friend Kaitlin's house for a video game party sometime in the late stage of winter. He strided over to me and said something to the effect of, "Hello, my name is Charles Bilbrey,". At first glance, I thought he was kind of dorky, which he was. He dubbed himself "The Otaku", otaku meaning that he was a fan of everything Japanese.

I later met him again riding the sports bus home from softball practice, when I used to play it. Sometimes he would sit with me, and he would discuss certain anime things...and I thought always, "Boy, this guy can REALLY talk,".

I didn't see him over that summer until the very end- at a sports meeting. One of my ex's was saying how Charlie liked me and wanted to go out with me. I didn't really believe it, because it was still weird for guys to like me. Also, I didn't realize that Charlie was a good 5 years older than me. But yeah.

So, during the school year we had almost something going on.
There was this other girl that he liked apparently too. So, one day in November I was going to ask him to choose between the two of us at a Gaming Club. It wasn't fair to me or the other girl for him to be like this. However, that day...I felt very ill. I tried to stay in school, because I had to tell him this...but I ended up being sent home with a 102 fever. The next day he was dating the other girl.

I eventually kind of got over it, but never stopped feeling something for Charlie. By the end of the school year, he had broken up with the girl with intent of being with me. However, he was going off to the army that summer as well. I knew that I wouldn't stay with him after that most likely, but I really cared for him, and loved him. We'd talk on the phone, and he'd really open up to me. So many ******** memories.

I miss him...

Thanks Deno. A while after hearing of Charlie, I thought of you and your friend. Thanks, and I hope we can both heal in our time.

I am sorry. I know that nothing I can say can heal what has happened or your loss. I can only say I am sorry.