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 Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:25 pm
Ok where to start...
My father and I have had problems ever since I was 9. He was abusive toward me for 4 years. Then he doesn't believe I have a serious illness. And every time we talk it ends up being a fight, so now I'm not talking to him at all. Not over the phone, not face to face, not in emails or in letters. Does this mean I'm being stubborn, or am I doing something right? Am I a bad daughter that I almost hate my father?
-AJ-
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:27 pm
Sorry all of it is lumped together, I'm just really frustrated at the moment. And also sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.. sweatdrop
-AJ-
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 10:55 pm
No, I dont think you are being a bad daughter for not liking your father. And dont feel bad about it, you have every right to feel anger towards him for what he has done to you. I feel the same way with mine, he was very abusive, and tried to kill my mother before she divorced him. We dont see him anymore of course, not for 10 years, and I am happy for that. So dont feel bad, and you arent doing anything wrong. It has been 10 years since I have seen my father, and I still feel the same way, though the anger has lessened in intensity, and so will yours.
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Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:55 am
no you are doing the right thing. I am kind of in the same situation with my mom. she has abused me for years mentally by calling me bad names and so on..sometimes you just dont get along with your parents..and often like in my case they will call it just a phase.
so yea...what else can you do but drawing the line and give up contact with your dad
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Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 1:24 pm
What you're doing is perfectly fine for the circumstances at hand. Don't worry about it. Some people go their entire life without talking to their parents once they've graduated from High School. Though I wouldn't honestly consider that. You never know what may come out on someone's deathbed.
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:04 pm
Dance With Night Wind-Thanks, I'm glad that someone has some of the same issues with their father as I do. I'm a little glad to here that it might get better.
Rudea-I hope "the phase" will go away sometime.LOL
I hope that you and your mom can posibly work stuff out in the future.
Rothen-Hopefuly things will get better so I wont have any regrets if something happends to him.
Thank you all for your advice and comments, they made me feel a little better and helped some stress go away from my mind.
-AJ-
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 4:27 pm
There is a limit to how much a person can forgive and love. =(
Feel satisfied with your decision to leave your father behind. But, if you regret it, maybe you haven't reached your limit yet. If you really want to give him another chance, do it. If you know that even with another chance, things will fall apart...
Give it time, I say. Weeks, months, years! As much time as it takes for him to want you back. You don't have to take the first step every time. You can wait for him to reach out to you. =)
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Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 5:01 pm
I don't think of my parents as parents, the two people who will love and care for me no matter what, because that is not what they are. How would you feel about him, what would you do, if he wasn't your dad? If he was just someone you knew who did that to you? Are you only thinking to forgive him because he is your father? I think you should think about why you actually care about this person who has harmed you. If he wasn't your father, would you keep in contact with him?
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Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 5:37 pm
your father is the curel one. protect yourself and keep yourself safe.
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Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:50 pm
Ok, it has been almost a year and a half that I posted to this forum and I'm proud to say things are a lot better for me.
After I had been through all the stuff with my father I decided what was best for me was to stay away from him. Now I'm 16 and I don't have to see him.
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:48 pm
I'm glad things are better for you. I didn't get along well with my dad either, but I made peace with him a few days before his death. He was a good dad, but a terrible person. Do whatever makes you comfortable, but let him know your reasons. If he can't accept it, move on.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:20 am
What you're doing is perfectly fine and normal.Frankly,I wouldn't talk to him after all that either.You are really strong to have been able to deal with that,he deserves whatever you say(or in this case don't say)to him^_^
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:44 am
kiko_jade Ok, it has been almost a year and a half that I posted to this forum and I'm proud to say things are a lot better for me.
After I had been through all the stuff with my father I decided what was best for me was to stay away from him. Now I'm 16 and I don't have to see him. I'm glad that things have gotten a lot better for you! But I do have to say one thing... I agree with Sirap09... If he was not your father would you still continue to talk to him after all the stuff you have been though? I know I wouldn't.
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