Note: This is the result when you cross a rather bored Chesterface with a bunch of time on his meager little gritty Asian hands.
Three sisters by the name of Nympho trekked along at twilight, central time zone. Somewhere in their journey, the sisters stumbled upon a conspicuously big puddle blocking their path. The eldest sister, Laura, said "Are you shitting me? We're supposed to be on this crazy epic adventure, and the world decides to throw us a giant puddle to cross. Booo."
To this, the middle child, Kaylee, pondered "I don't know, this water could be dangerous. I mean, it hasn't rained for about three days--what's a puddle doing here?"
The youngest child, Joy, responded rather excitedly "OH OH OH! I COULD BE LIKE CHAPTER 7 IN NARUTO WHERE THERE'S THIS CRAZY EVIL NINJAS HIDING IN--"
"***** PLZ!!" yelled Laura and Kaylee. The elder continued, "You know, you really should stop connecting everything you see with those crazy comics you read and Yellowcard. We. are. ********. witches. There should be pumpkin juice and crumpets for crying out loud!"
"Dear illegitimate sister of ours, you know you're only on this quest with us because every good quest has a nice set of three. It's only unfortunate that our mother was a horrible Nympho and bore three daughters from a great pool of seven possible fathers. Two whites, one...whatever the hell you are. Keep ya trap shut and let's make some ******** magic to remove this puddle." scorned Kaylee.
And with that, the three sisters waved their giant sticks ungracefully through the air and recited their favorite lyrics.
"IF I COULD FIND YOU NOOOOOW, THINGS WOULD GET BETTEEEEEER! WE COULD LEAVE THIS TOWN AND RUN FOREVER~" sang Joy.
"MITSUBISHI SAKURA SASUKE TOSHIBA SUSHI HIKARU AYUMI CHING CHONG~" croaked Kaylee, who was an avid Morning Musume fan.
"ASDFGHJKL!!!", shrieked Laura, who adored unintelligible opera.
After the cacophany resided, the puddle poofed and was gone. Victoriously, the sisters crossed the newly dried patch of grass and marched on their journey until two creepy voices rang from above them.
"HALT, YE BITCHES."
Confused, the three Nympho sisters stopped in their tracks. Before them, a giant cloud of smoke materialized, containing two identical shadows. When the vapors settled, one could see that two figures looked close enough to be twins! However, one twin had a much bigger rack whilst the other one sported a mustache and an unfortunate pair of melons.
"Our names are Jacqueline and Victoria" boomed the sisters simultaneously, "We are twin demons filling in for Death today. The puddle that you three magically removed was meant to sent you straight to your doooom! Because you little twats avoided it, we're supposed to give you some prizes or s**t about conquering death. Here ya go. Thank you, come again. If you ever see Jacqueline at Dairy Queen--it is not one of us. Same thing goes for Victoria at McDonalds."
Laura, the eldest, received the Great Bat of Whoopass, whose powers are said to be so immense, one penetration up your bunghole will send you straight to a**l sex heaven!
Kaylee, the middle child, received the Ressurection Toast of Erections! One bite had the power to either enlargen the p***s or make the boobs bigger and presentable. Such amazing powers could make one a sex God, allowing to send people to the heavens with an orgasm equal to that of--well, what's better than an orgasm?
Joy, the youngest lame child, recieved a gift card for unlimited purchases at Bookstop for manga.
Together, these three fabulous [lol, I used the word fabulous] items created the legendary SWEATY SCHMALLOWS! When one obtains all items, they are said to conquer Death itself! However, throughout the ages, many have sought such terrible artifacts, and thus the history of them is stained in the bloodshed of barfights and tickle challenges. The Bat of Whoopass has conquered many in its lifetime for those who desire power. The Resurrection Toast of Erection has exploded many penises and bewbs for those who desired dericous orgasms. The gift card has destroyed many bodies from causing such avid manga readers to do nothing but read manga, effectively giving them loads of weight and blubber.
Such terrible items should never be sought...
End of story for now~
I'll write more when I'm not terribly lazy, which you gais probably know isn't going to happen. Feel free to add a chapter if you wish, this could be a collaborative effort on SCW's part.
And I"m only making it a collaborative effort because ya'll know I'm too lazy to write the whole thing myself. xD
PROLOGUE
Three sisters by the name of Nympho trekked along at twilight, central time zone. Somewhere in their journey, the sisters stumbled upon a conspicuously big puddle blocking their path. The eldest sister, Laura, said "Are you shitting me? We're supposed to be on this crazy epic adventure, and the world decides to throw us a giant puddle to cross. Booo."
To this, the middle child, Kaylee, pondered "I don't know, this water could be dangerous. I mean, it hasn't rained for about three days--what's a puddle doing here?"
The youngest child, Joy, responded rather excitedly "OH OH OH! I COULD BE LIKE CHAPTER 7 IN NARUTO WHERE THERE'S THIS CRAZY EVIL NINJAS HIDING IN--"
"***** PLZ!!" yelled Laura and Kaylee. The elder continued, "You know, you really should stop connecting everything you see with those crazy comics you read and Yellowcard. We. are. ********. witches. There should be pumpkin juice and crumpets for crying out loud!"
"Dear illegitimate sister of ours, you know you're only on this quest with us because every good quest has a nice set of three. It's only unfortunate that our mother was a horrible Nympho and bore three daughters from a great pool of seven possible fathers. Two whites, one...whatever the hell you are. Keep ya trap shut and let's make some ******** magic to remove this puddle." scorned Kaylee.
And with that, the three sisters waved their giant sticks ungracefully through the air and recited their favorite lyrics.
"IF I COULD FIND YOU NOOOOOW, THINGS WOULD GET BETTEEEEEER! WE COULD LEAVE THIS TOWN AND RUN FOREVER~" sang Joy.
"MITSUBISHI SAKURA SASUKE TOSHIBA SUSHI HIKARU AYUMI CHING CHONG~" croaked Kaylee, who was an avid Morning Musume fan.
"ASDFGHJKL!!!", shrieked Laura, who adored unintelligible opera.
After the cacophany resided, the puddle poofed and was gone. Victoriously, the sisters crossed the newly dried patch of grass and marched on their journey until two creepy voices rang from above them.
"HALT, YE BITCHES."
Confused, the three Nympho sisters stopped in their tracks. Before them, a giant cloud of smoke materialized, containing two identical shadows. When the vapors settled, one could see that two figures looked close enough to be twins! However, one twin had a much bigger rack whilst the other one sported a mustache and an unfortunate pair of melons.
"Our names are Jacqueline and Victoria" boomed the sisters simultaneously, "We are twin demons filling in for Death today. The puddle that you three magically removed was meant to sent you straight to your doooom! Because you little twats avoided it, we're supposed to give you some prizes or s**t about conquering death. Here ya go. Thank you, come again. If you ever see Jacqueline at Dairy Queen--it is not one of us. Same thing goes for Victoria at McDonalds."
Laura, the eldest, received the Great Bat of Whoopass, whose powers are said to be so immense, one penetration up your bunghole will send you straight to a**l sex heaven!
Kaylee, the middle child, received the Ressurection Toast of Erections! One bite had the power to either enlargen the p***s or make the boobs bigger and presentable. Such amazing powers could make one a sex God, allowing to send people to the heavens with an orgasm equal to that of--well, what's better than an orgasm?
Joy, the youngest lame child, recieved a gift card for unlimited purchases at Bookstop for manga.
Together, these three fabulous [lol, I used the word fabulous] items created the legendary SWEATY SCHMALLOWS! When one obtains all items, they are said to conquer Death itself! However, throughout the ages, many have sought such terrible artifacts, and thus the history of them is stained in the bloodshed of barfights and tickle challenges. The Bat of Whoopass has conquered many in its lifetime for those who desire power. The Resurrection Toast of Erection has exploded many penises and bewbs for those who desired dericous orgasms. The gift card has destroyed many bodies from causing such avid manga readers to do nothing but read manga, effectively giving them loads of weight and blubber.
Such terrible items should never be sought...
End of story for now~
I'll write more when I'm not terribly lazy, which you gais probably know isn't going to happen. Feel free to add a chapter if you wish, this could be a collaborative effort on SCW's part.
And I"m only making it a collaborative effort because ya'll know I'm too lazy to write the whole thing myself. xD
