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In June I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant. I went through all of the trials, telling my mother, telling my school, telling my boyfriend, and finding a doctor. I went and they were kind and I didn't see the actual doctor until my next visit.
He did, as all doctor do when you go in for your first visit with him, a Pap Smear and he checks your cervix and your pelvic region to check and see if your body is strong enough to hold your baby. Its awkward to those that kow what I am talking about. He just sticks his finger in you and checks things out in there.
Anyways, then came the ultrasound, which I had been waititng for the entire time. At this point I was 8 weeks long and hungry. Anyway, he did his thing, but there was nothing there. He said, "Come back next week, you may have your dates mixed up, or perhaps its a blighted ovary." or some such thing. I was nervous, scared, and sad. My boyfriend said not to worry that everything was fine. The next week I went in fuming because my mother was making me so angry. Then we went in and he performed a vaginal ultrasound (so uncomfortable) and we looked and there was a circle, of an unformed embryo. It was a miscarriage. The doctor when on to explain all of the statistics and how it was normal for a woman to experience a miscarrige. But I wasn't listening. I had lost my child. To me it was a life, a person who chased away my lonliness. The doctor told me he didn't want me to go through the whole miscarriage process, so he scheduled me for a DNC the next day. This felt like abortion to me. I swore I wouldn't do that and when I woke up hours after my surgery in tears because it was now a sure thing that I wasn't dreaming.

I'm not telling you thins for sympathy because I don't want it. I'm telling you for the sake of myself and for others to know that it hurts sometimes and you aren't the only one. And for those you are scared of being pregnant think of the beautiful creature that can make you feel more special than any man can ever do. Because you gave life, love, and that child needs you, wants you and cares for you like no other.
"Mother is God to the hearts and lips of children."
You remember that. And even if you experince loss as well as me, knw that all things will heal...even if it takes a long time.
I wish you happiness.

This made me cry. I have not had my menstrual cycle in a whole year, I'm 18 years old. It's because I can't eat enough without being ill because of a medicine I take for migraines. Did you hold any ceremony of sorts for your child, this might help saying goodbye but remembering the comfort that the child gave you. I will pray for your heart and healing, and that if you become pregnant again, your baby will be born well and healthy - and as always, very beautiful.

omg that is really sad girl

Ah!
I'm so sorry for your loss!