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Sexual Violence (pamphlet)

What is Sexual Violence?
Any time someone forces another person to have sex, it is sexual violence.

Sexual violence is also called rape.

- Most people who are raped are women, but men are sometimes raped, too.

- A woman can be raped by someone she knows (acquaintence rape) or by a stranger (stranger rape).

- Acquaintance rape is more common than stranger rape. The rapist is often a friend, relative, or her own partner.

- Many women don't realize it's rape when someone they know forces them to have sex.

- Knowing how sexual violence happens can help you protect yourself. If you know what to look for, you can learn ways to reduce the risk. You can learn what to do if you are raped.


What is Sexual Harassment?
When someone talks about sex, gestures or touches another person in a sexual way that makes the other person uncomfortable, it is sexual harassment.

- The harasser is often someone with power, such as a teacher or boss.

- Sexual harassment isn't always sexual violence. But it can lead to sexual violence.

Sexual harassment can include:
- Comments about your body, clothing or gender..
- Jokes, remarks or teasing.
- Hints or threats that you will lose your job, get a bad grade, etc, if you don't have sex with the harasser.
- Insulting sounds.
- Staring at your body.
- Obscence gestures.
- Touching or pinching.
- Brushing up against your body.


Facts About Rape
Myths about rape can prevent women from learning the facts and taking steps to protect themselves. Myths can make it hard for women to report a rape when it happens.

Knowing the facts about rape can help women plan ways to protect themselves.

Rape is always against the law.
Most people know it's against the law for a stranger to rape someone.

But many people don't realize that no one can force someone else to have sex. This includes dates, friends, partners or husbands. Rape is always against the law.

Rape is a violent act.
One myth is that rape is a "crime of passion." Rape is not about sex.

Rape is a violent act. Men who rape want power over the other person.

No one asks to be raped.
Another myth is that women can cause rape to happen by the way they dress or act. This is not true.

Rape is never the woman's fault.
Rape is a violent crime. It's meant to scare and hurt the victim. It's against the law. It should always be reported.

If a woman believes the myth, she may not report the rape or get help.
- She may feel ashamed.
- She may blame herself.
- She may think she should have been able to stop the violence.


What to Watch For

You can't tell someone is a rapist by looking. Many rapists look and act normal. But there may be warning signs.

Not everyone with these traits is a rapist, and not all rapists will have these traits. But many rapists:

- Do not respect women.
- See women as sex objects.
- Continue to touch a woman ever when asked to stop.
- Think violent behavior is normal.
- Drink and use drugs.
- Encourage women they are with to drink and use drugs.


Talking About Sex
In a sexual situation, sometimes communication breaks down. The man may think the woman means yes when she says no.

Clear communication is one way two people can reduce the risk of sexual violence:
- Both need to know their own sexual needs and limits.
- Both need to ask questions and listen to the other's limits.


Avoiding Stanger Rape
Strangers tend to attack women who are alone. They also target women who look unsure of themselves.

Women can:
- Learn to appear more forceful.
- Take precautions to protect themselves when they are alone.


Drugs and Rape
In most acquaintance rape cases, both people had been drinking and/or using drugs.

At least 2 drugs have become known as "date rape" drugs:
- Rohypnol ("roofies", "roaches", "larocha")
- Gamma-hydroxybutyric acid ("G")

Both drugs cause sleep and amnesia. The ability to remember is impaired even more when these drugs are taken with alcohol and/or other drugs.

To avoid being drugged:
- Do not accept drinks from strangers or casual acquaintances.
- Never leave a drink unattended.


What to Do About Sexual Violence

Protecting Yourself from Rape

By someone you know:
- Know your sexual desires and limits ahead of time. Know what's ok for you and what's not.
- Be clear with the person you're with about what your limits are. Be sure you mean what you say.
- Be alert for any warning signs.
- If you aren't sure about a new date, go out with a group of friends instead of alone.
- Don't ride alone with someone you recently met.
- Have money for bus or cab fare home.
- Be careful about alcohol or other drug use.
- Don't be pressured into sex.
- Trust your feelings. If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, leave right away.

By strangers:
- Know your neighbours. You can watch out for each other.
- Burglar-proof your home.
- Don't let strangers into your home.
- Be alert.
- Stay on well-lighted streets with other people.
- Walk with confidence. Act sure of yourself and where you are going.
- If your car stalls, lift up the hood and turn on the flashers. Stay in the car with the doors locked. Wait for the police or ask someone who stops to call them.
- If you can, keep a cell phone with you when you walk or drive alone.


If You're Harassed
- If it is at school or work, find out if there is a sexual harassment policy in place. If so, use it. If not, ask why not.
- Write down the dates and the events that happened.
- Talk to a trusted friend.
- Say no to the harassment. One way is in a letter that tells the facts, your feelings, and what you want to happen next.
- Find out if others have been harassed. Maybe they will come forward too.


If Someone Attacks You
- Try to stay calm. It is easier to think clearly.
- Fight, scream or run away if you can.
- Don't plead or cry. It probably won't help.
- Trust your feelings. Sometimes it is safer not to fight or run away.
- If you have to submit, remember that you are not responsible in any way for the rape.


If You're Raped

After the crime:
- You are the victim of a crime. Don't blame yourself.
- Get medical attention.
- Seek help and support.

Reporting a rape:
It can be hard to report a rape. You may be afraid people will judge. You may not want to tell anyone.

But reporting can:
- Keep someone else from being a victim of the same rapist.
- Help you feel stronger and safer.
- Help you find counsellors and others who can help.

It can be hard to reach out after a rape. But it is harder to go through it alone.

These people can help:
- A friend of family member.
- Counselors at women's centers or sexual assault centers.
- School counseling centers.
- Rape hotlines.
- Emergency room staff, nurses, and other healthcare providers.
- Police who are trained to help rape victims.

actuly i think men are raped just as much as i talked to my female friends they allways talk about chains hand cuffs and about rapeing men and stuff and guys dont really care that much too report it